Two Beebs

"All We Need are a Few Ethels..." (and an offer)

2012-02-14T03:27:00.000-08:00

When I was younger, my mom's best friend's (who is like a second mother to me - we'll call her Lissa) mom (who was like a second Grandma to me - her name was Ethel) LOVED garage sales. She would bring boxes and boxes of ~~stuff~~ lovely glassware home and stack them in her basement. And when it came time for Lissa to move into Ethel's house to help out, she (and the rest of the family) was tasked with cleaning out the basement.

What she was left with was a garage full of stuff to sell at a flea market, so much so, she probably could have lived off the proceeds for a year.

That's not true. But I'm just trying to tell you that it as A LOT OF ~~STUFF~~ BEAUTIFUL GLASSWARE AND COLLECTIBLES.

Anyway, first we had a yard sale to try to ~~unload~~ gently hand off some of these pieces to people who would take great care of them at a reasonable price.

And let me tell you, it wasn't easy with Ethel there, re-falling in love with everything she didn't even know she had.

So living at the end of a quiet street with Ethel watching from the kitchen does not make for a successful yard sale. Lissa and I (and a few other family members) sat on the porch and waited for customers and repeated out loud more than a few times, "All we need are just a few Ethels and all of this would be gone."

Eventually, we tried our hand at flea marketing and managed to sell most of the stuff in the dark to men with flashlights who rummaged through the back of our truck before we even got the boxes out. Talk about awkward. Also that sounds a little dirty - I did not mean it that way.

Anyway, I sometimes think I might have some Ethel in me. I know I didn't get my love for yard sales and other people's wood furniture (and ~~stuff~~ lovely glassware and collectibles) from my mom. And even though we weren't blood related, we were in every other sense of the word.

Okay - on to the point of why I'm telling you all of this now.

We got an offer on the house!

Is it 100% clear why those two stories are related? Okay, let me back up a bit. The house officially went on the market last Tuesday, and our open house was this past Sunday. All I could think on Sunday besides "cleanthewindows,emptythelitterbox,pickupthecathair,wipethetable,cleanthemirror,takeoutthetrash,straightenthepillows" was, "All we need is just ONE Morgan and Zach..." And I was ready to write this whole blog about how I hoped our open house was successful and stuff and then I got this email before I could do that:

So, yes, we have our very first offer. Of course we aren't accepting as is, and things could still fall through, but for now we are just doing our happy dances. We found our ~~Morgan and Zach~~ Ethel.

Open for Business. (Complete with full house tour)

2012-02-12T17:28:00.000-08:00

Today I left my freshly cleaned house (and by freshly cleaned I mean SCOURED TO THE MAX - I even de-cat haired the drapes in the basement!) in order to allow strangers to traipse through with their shoes on and critique our house.

That's right - we had our first (and hopefully only!) open house.

Of course, as is customary, I had to leave for the time when the people were there. I had to take Brenda to the airport, so it really wasn't a big deal. In fact, I quite enjoyed my afternoon. We went to Lost Dog for lunch, dropped off donations at Goodwill and after dropping her at the airport, I grocery shopped and got gas! Pretty solid, yes?

Anyway, back to the open house. Like I said: I scoured. I kept adding to my mental list as I did the things I normally do. Change the funny looking lightbulb. Clean the sliding door to the patio. Litter boxes. Throw out old shoes. Pack up jewelry. De-cat hair everything. De-cat hair everything again.

And then I realized that here we are two years later - trying to sell this house we worked so hard on the past two years - and I STILL haven't posted room photos on my blog. So here they are. Excuse me while I pretend like you care.

And even though we are (hopefully) selling this house soon, we could not love it here any more.

I know it's a little self-indulgent, but as you know, this is my blog. And I love our house. A lot. If I could pick it up any move it to Pittsburgh, I most certainly would.

Without further ado, I introduce to you Beeba-Scotia (as Zach so lovingly named our home).

Here is our Kitchen, where we added ceramic tile and refinished the cabinets. Oh, and painted the walls.

This area is an eat-in area, which we only took advantage of yesterday. My mom said it was what our house was missing. And as you know, moms are always right. There is now a table there.

Here is our dining room. Our furniture is from JC Penney. And it's my favorite furniture in the whole house.

The long shelf was my Grandma's, and the wooden fruit in the middle of the table was Zach's Grandma's. The bottles and mason jars on the shelf were my dad's (he found them when we excavated for the pool at our first house) and Zach's dad's too. My mom arranged those hydrangeas for me using one of the vases from our wedding.

And there is Little Shawn looking out the window!

Here is our living room, which we rarely use. The couches were given to us by Zach's Aunt. His dad bought me the table at Eastern Market in DC (and I refinished it). The floors were lovingly laid out by Zach's dad.

Here is the opposite wall of our living room - where you will find more bottles from my mom, my server from HomeGoods holding Gramma's china. The end table is temporary. It was a thrift store find that I haven't had time to deal with quite yet.

Here is the half bathroom on the main floor that we fixed up ourselves last fall.

The basement (where we spend most of our time). You can see the refinished TV stand I completed last month and our wood burning fireplace. Which is just wonderful, let me tell you.

Upstairs we have three bedrooms. Here is the one we made into a guest bedroom.

My mom made the wreath above the bed for me when I moved to DC to match everything you see here. She also bought me a set of sheets we use on this bed that I love. You can't see them here but they are maroon and cream floral cotton. The comforter on this bed was a wedding shower gift from Zach's grandma. The furniture (excluding mattress) was bought at a shady thrift store in Donora, Pennsylvania and refinished by me, Zach, and Zach's dad even got in on this a little bit with the tall end table.

And since we allow our guests the comfort of this super cute room, we force them to use this ugly blue untouched bathroom. We don't want them to get too comfortable.

Just kidding. We love our guests, we just didn't get around to changing this one...

Eeek.

And then there is our room. Zach hung the ceiling fan and the flowers on the nightstand were sent by Zach's parents when we closed on the house. My dad gave me the wooden angel in front of the flowers when I went away to college.
Here is our renovated bathroom! (Complete with wood-burning of Pittsburgh)And the vanity outside of the bathroom that has gone through MAJOR transformations over the past two years!

And lastly - our back patio. Host to a few parties, and lots of time with our families.
I am growing increasingly sad about leaving. It really is so bittersweet. Even though we've only been here two years, it's amazing how much we are in this house. It kind of grew and evolved around us, almost as if we've stood still and it absorbed us.

Only we didn't stand still at all.

Photography Class

2012-02-09T02:52:00.000-08:00

Around Christmas time, I signed up for LivingSocial Plus because it gave me two Photography Classes for free. LivingSocial Plus charges your credit card $20.00 every month and in turn you get $20.00 in free LivingSocial deals. When you sign up, your deals that day are free.

And I get that this is kind of scam-like, but I actually use LivingSocial fairly often these days. Do I cash in on my deals? I'm working on it. Since that post back in December, I got sick at hot yoga twice, re-gifted my beer brewing kit, and bought unlimited regular yoga classes (unused) and a one month gym membership (unused). Oh, and two photography classes (one used, one I've signed up for).

I took photography classes last summer at the Art League in Alexandria that were (1) expensive (2) boring (3) not worth it. But I really want to learn how to take good photos. So I was still in the hunt for a good class.

This one worked out much better because it was one class only - three hours on a Sunday afternoon. And the guy teaching the class was extremely organized and ready to teach. His name? Okello Dunkley. And he has this stuff down pat.

I must admit I was a little turned off the night before when I received an email from Okello talking about the importance of being on-time. Kind of like the time I sat through a 20 minute lecture about the importance of not bouncing checks.

Um, no shit.

But I guess both of these talks were for good reason. Apparently not all adults know how to get to places they need to be when they are supposed to get there, and others don't understand that if you don't have enough money in your Girl Scout bank account, you probably shouldn't write that check. And if you have BOTH of these issues, look out. Also - I don't like you. Because this is all your fault.

Anyway - this class was totally worth it, and now I can't wait to buy like a million lenses and some filters. And for Spring or Summer, so I have some good things to take photos of.

He taught us all about aperture and shutter speed and the importance of spending all of your money on new lenses and filters. And Adobe Lightroom. And shooting raw files. And other things you don't care about at all.

I'm currently waiting word from Zach to see if his dad's Accountant could work some miracles so we don't have to pay $3500 to the Feds in April. And then look out. I need a good landscape lense and I want some filters. And a good flash. That's right - NEED.

I do have some good equipment for what we learned though. My friend Gretchen stressed the importance of a 50mm f/1.8 lens. Funny thing - so did Okello. Well, the day I bought my new camera, I also got this lens. And now, after all these years of being jealous of the holiday "bokeh" photos on the Pioneer Woman's website, I, too, can take those photos. Well, maybe not THAT good, but at least I know HOW to do it.

I know my shots aren't as exciting as Christmas lights, but look:

Look out Pockets and Shawn. You are about to get bokeh-fied.

Weekend Dinners.

2012-02-05T16:15:00.001-08:00

Can I confess something? I didn't leave the house yesterday until 6:30 or so. And that was only to go to Target with Zach because my hair desperately needed dyed.

While we were there we contemplated what was for dinner. Considering Friday night's dinner and drinks at Ping Pong Dim Sum in DC (complete with hefty valet parking fee of $20.00) and Saturday morning's realization that we are probably about to pay $3,498.00 in taxes to the Federal Government, we thought we should go cheap.

I said, "How about hot dogs?"

Zach said, "How did you know that's what I wanted?"

He acts like he doesn't want hot dogs for every meal all the time.

So funny thing - turns out we are extremely immature. Did you know that the store tag at Target for hot dogs (the non-all-beef ones) reads "meat weiners"? Well it does. And that is hilarious.

Anyway - we opted for the turkey dogs, whole wheat buns, and - just to make sure the meal wasn't too borderline healthy - we bought a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

And then tonight I think we must have forgot how poor we are about to be because we bought ribeye steaks to cook on the grill for tonight's dinner.

Oops.

It all starts with a sign.

2012-02-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I came home from work, I was greeted by an extra large white post in our front yard.
And suddenly everything became very real.

Our house will officially be on the market tomorrow. If all of the stars align properly and the house sells, come Springtime, we will be Pennsylvanians once again. Only now it won't only be in our hearts, it will physically surround us.

I have to admit I am terrified. Will the house sell? Will it coincide with us finding jobs? Will Pockets on the carpet right before the perfect buyers step foot in our house?

And let me tell you - the white post in our front yard doesn't lend any comfort. It is actually quite ginormous when you are standing next to it. And it screams, "Hey! Your house is for sale and you have no idea what you are going to be doing in two months! You don't even know if you'll have a job. Or if the house will sell at all! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA." Scary, right?

So, after taking the above photo from the front yard, I decided to take the high ground and prove to myself that it's really not so scary afterall. I could squish it with my fingers.

It's Bubby's Birthday!

2012-02-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

"It's Bubby's Birthday" is a phrase dubbed by our sweet Caroline, who used it to remind her parents that it was, in fact, Bubby's (her dog Herbert's) birthday (and also to distract them from the fact that she wasn't eating her butter bread, but rather just licking the butter off.) Also a phrase for me. For today. It is my bubby's birthday.

Today, my husband turned 28. I call him Bub. I call him Bubby. Bubber. Bubba-roo. Beeb. Beeba. Bee. Late for dinner. Ha!

Here he is as we speak. In all his old-man glory. Partaking in two of his very favorite activities: petting Pockets and reading Reddit.
Pockets really looks like she is being hurt. But I swear Zach would rather pull out all of my toenails and his too before he would so much as step on her tail.

So Happy Birthday to the biggest cat lover I know. Who is kind. Who is smart. Who is important.

I am so lucky to have him as my bubby.

Small Things.

2012-01-31T17:03:00.000-08:00

You know when something bad happens and you freak out about it a little bit and another person it affects doesn't really freak out much even though you know they should really be upset too? Well if you know me at all, usually I am the person freaking out and someone else is the one trying to talk some sense into me.

And here's a story about one of those times.

Yesterday at work, right about 15 minutes before I was supposed to walk out the door to go to a yoga class, I realized that I had ordered the wrong forms for something that needed to be mailed out by TODAY. I talked to my work BFF (who is responsible for ordering said forms) and she started calling around to find out where we could get some.

Well they were sold out online. So instead of yoga, we walked to the closest Staples store (about 2 miles - still needed that exercise!). Well they were sold out. So we walked back to the office and started calling around. We found a store about 6 miles away that had them in stock. Which is like a lifetime in Alexandria, Virginia. And instead of that being the end of the road for my coworker, she offered to go along for the ride with me.

Stop and think about that for a second. It was already almost 7:00PM on a Monday night. I'm sure she could think of 453356093840958 better things to be doing. I know I sure could.

So we went. We got the forms. We started our trek back home.

When we were pulling out of the Staples parking lot, I said outloud "I am so mad at myself." And my coworker turned her head to look at me really quick. She said, "Well, why?" I replied, "Because I wasted all this time tonight because I told you to order the wrong thing. And I wasted your time too." She said, "Well you can be mad at yourself, but will that make you feel any better?"

And the truth was it wouldn't. It would only make me feel worse.

She said, "Well then quit being mad. No sense in it."

And I thought for a minute, because I was still mad. I said, "How do I get over it?" And she said, "Well, you just do. Just forget it ever happened."

So I did just that. And, with her help (and one glass of red wine upon arrival home), I salvaged what was left of my evening.

So what I'm trying to say here is, you should be this person every once in awhile. You should surprise someone with a kind gesture. It was probably so small to her to give up another hour or so of her evening to help me out, but to me it was huge! And since we are honest with each other, if it were her that was responsible and therefore SHE was the one going to Staples, I'm not sure I would have offered to go.

But that's changed now.

You never know what impact you have on someone, but you just have to know deep down that they appreciate it - no matter how they show it.

I look up to this woman. I respect her. I learn so much from her.

And I really hope she rubs off on me a little bit before she retires in 29 days.

Lots of Weddings and a Baby!

2012-01-26T17:12:00.000-08:00

So on New Year's, I put on Facebook that 2012 holds many exciting things for us. But, really, it's other peoples' news this year that has us ready to pee our proverbial pants.

First thing's first. My sister, who has been engaged since her 24th birthday - and in that time I've gotten engaged AND married AND America elected a black president, has FINALLY SET A DATE for her wedding. But wait, yinz. It gets better.

Her WEDDING is going to be in LAS VEGAS!!!! AND! I get to be the maid of honor! I prefer to call it the Best Lady, though, because really I guess I'm a matron since I'm married, but GOSH THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE. AND! I get to plan her bridal shower. She didn't want one at first for understandable reasons but come on. When am I ever going to get to be Best Lady again? Never, that's when.

As if that's not enough for one year...

Drum Roll Please.....

......

Come July, yinz can call me at Auntie Morgan!

That's right! My lovely sister-in-law is pregnant with my first niece/nephew (NOT TO MENTION Zach's brother's CHILD)! We aren't sure what it is yet - but I'm going with girl. She has already been blessed with the best little boy in the world.

So anyway - this year has the ingredients to make it the best. Not only is my sister getting married, we have very close family friends who are getting married too. And Zach's college friend. And my internet friend - who I met on the internet. And in real life.

Happy 2012! The end.

Texas is a GREAT State.

2012-01-18T17:06:00.001-08:00

Okay, fasten your seatbelts, people. Shit is about to get real.

During my visit in San Antonio, Meghann took me to this place called Midnight Rodeo. It had nothing to do with bull riding, or horse poop, or hay bails. It had everything to do with cowboys, line dancing, cheap beer, and some solid entertainment. Best people-watching of my whole life.

Midnight Rodeo is a really interesting concept. It's a circular dance floor with a bar in the middle. Actually, there are 6 bars in Midnight Rodeo, 5 around the outside edges of the bar and one big one in the middle. Imagine if you will a skating rink, only with line dancing. People line dance in a circular motion while others people watch in the center. And take in the, er, sights.

And I'm sorry all of these videos are sideways. It took me an hour to get them to this point. And we all know how much patience I have.

Here is what it looks like during an average country song:

And that's all well and fine.

But every so often they play a song that there is a choreographed dance that everyone seems to know (except us):

I'm sorry but this guy's dance moves were hilarious. I promise we were laughing with him, I swear. Does that sound convincing?

BUT THEN! The other kind of music they play at the Midnight Rodeo is RAP MUSIC. These following videos are the opposite of what I expected to see at the Midnight Rodeo. But was just as happy that we did.

Watch Red Suspenders.

And again...

We LOVED this guy. He asked Meghann to share her videos of him. He had a business card and everything.

If you can't tell by the laughter in the foreground of the videos, we had THE BEST time that night. The words "best night of life" even escaped my lips. But Meghann reminded me how sad that actually was, so I quickly came up with a mental list of other "best" nights of my life that perhaps weren't so pathetic. There were arguably two, maybe three.

Just kidding.

I think.

And even though line dancing (or rap dancing?) as a pastime is a little out there, all I could think to myself was that when I was this guy's age, I hope I'm having just as much fun on a Friday night at 11PM. And if nothing else, everyone at Midnight Rodeo had one thing in common that night. We were all having a GREAT time.

San Antonio Highlights in Photos

2012-01-17T17:25:00.000-08:00

1. Bike riding along the River Walk and through the streets of San Antonio.2. Drinks at the Esquire Tavern. If you go to San Antonio - don't miss this.3. Rudy's BBQ! This joint is attached to a gas station. But don't let that (or these photos!) steer you wrong! They give you half a loaf of white bread with you meat (which they sell by the pound!)! Exclamation Point!

4. Drinking (free) beer out of styrofoam cups!
5. Margaritas for lunch! (And dinner!)

6. (More than one) festive Mexican restaurant!
7. Daily walks with The Bun. Here is her daycare:
8. The Alamo!
9. A tree growing out the side of a building along the River Walk!
10. Edward Steves Homestead Tour. Did I ever mention I love house tours?
Meghann calls this one: "Band Photo"
And, yes, Jared's shirt says "Bacon is Meat Candy".

11. Live Music (and Texas wine) at The Cove. Sung by this good-looking man.So those are the photo highlights. I have some video highlights from our visit at the line dancing bar and other memories to share, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

If you ever have the chance to visit San Antonio, you should. And if you have friends as good as Meghann and Jared in any city, you should go there. Immediately. It's funny how much you think you miss friends until you spend time with them and realize you missed them so much more. I had the most gracious hosts during my trip. Couldn't have asked for a better time.

$20 TV Console Makeover!

2012-01-10T17:52:00.001-08:00

Well it was more than $20.00. But I only paid $20.00 for a solid wood "low-boy" TV console. Considering we already had the sander, sand paper, and Kilz, all I had to pay for was the paint. I think that was about $15.00.

Let me show you what I did.

First, I bought this piece of furniture at a thrift store in my hometown of Monongahela, Pennsylvania when I was home over Veteran's Day weekend in my mom's living room in all of it's cell phone photo glory.

Then, I stripped it. Sort of. You see - the day I was supposed to strip it my Mother-in-Law was all, "You have to do it today, it's the last nice day this year!" and even though I knew she was right (as mothers always are), I really didn't feel like doing it. So I hate to admit the truth - I half-assed it. Spoiler Alert: Luckily for me, it worked out okay in the end.Then, I used some Kilz and sealed it. Twice.

Then, I painted it. Twice. We used Sherwin Williams Super Paint in Still Water. I heart it.
As you can see, at this point my project moved into the house because, you know, it was freezing cold outside (and mothers are always right).

And then!

Zach put the doors back on for me because at this point I was really over the whole project. But also very very glad I did it. And the right side doors don't open at all anymore (because I primed twice and painted twice ... I thought I was being patient and doing it right, but turns out I should have given in to my impatience and maybe only did one coat of each.)

It sits much higher than the old TV stand that I ~~conned some man into buying~~ sold at the low low price of $15.00 on Craig's List did. The new one makes our TV look HUGE! Which Zach really likes.

And then I used a real camera to take photos of the finished product!Side Story: I was so excited that the TV stand sold for $15.00 and Zach, feeding my fire, said "What are you going to buy with it?" And without even a thought, I said, "Probably beer." He laughed really hard, but I'm on vacation in Texas as we speak so what else do you spend $15.00 on when you are on vacation? Margaritas, that's what.

So anyway, here are a few more photos:

Pretty, right?

Pin-spirations from my House Details Pinboard

2012-01-09T17:07:00.000-08:00

I heart Pinterest. It's a virtual pinboard for all of your favorite things. Browse hundreds of thousands of photos (pins) and post them to your pinboards for inspiration. It's eye-candy for home improvement wannabes like me. And eye-candy for everything else you could ever think of (wedding details, recipes, fitness inspiration, travel destinations - you name it).

Here are some of my most favorite Pin-spirations. Things I intend on implementing in our home. One day.

Porch Wall Bar:

(source)

Framed Fabric Wall Art:

(source)

Crate Book Shelf:

(source)

Suitcase Nightstand:

(source)

Just a few of my favorites. From one of my pinboards. I have moooore.

This Weekend!

2012-01-05T16:18:00.000-08:00

So this weekend Zach and his friend are going to a video game convention or something like that. I don't really like calling it a convention because that implies business casual clothes and stuffy conversation. (And even though I'm pretty sure Zach already has his outfits planned, I know they won't include collars or khakis.) This is more of a "fun" day where he can nerd out and for once be surrounded by people who understand it all.

So with most of my girlfriends spread across the United States (and most of whom I'll be seeing within the next 1.5 months!), I find myself with nothing to do on Saturday. I imagine it will include lots of bad television and probably a lot of full garbage bags.

That's right - I have big plans for our closets. I also have big plans for the entire series of Sex and the City. It makes me giggly just thinking about it.

And as geeked as I am at the prospect of not having to leave the house at all this weekend, there are three good reasons why I will:

1. Zach and I are going to enjoy the high-50's degree weather on Saturday before the convention and go for a little run.
2. I am going to an exercise class with a coworker on Saturday evening.
3. STEELER PLAYOFF FOOTBALL! I'm heading downtown to a friend's house to catch the game on Sunday night. And I will cheer against Tim Tebow for the first time all season. Go Steeeeeelers!

So there you have it. How this lonely gal will spend her weekend.

New Year's Eve

2012-01-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

Zach and I decided to keep our NYE nice and low-key. Here's what we did.

Last photo of my Bub and I in the year 2011:We did up our hair and put on some new outfits (that you can't see) and we went to my most favorite restaurant of all: Carlyle Grand. We drank a few girly drinks and ate our very favorite meals: I had Parmesan Crusted Flounder with Cauliflower Mash and Zach got a steak that he argues is a million times better than any other place ever. No photos of the food. Because I was starving by the time the food came and I inhaled it. And washed it down with a glass of chardonnay.

I tried to drag dinner/drinks on as long as possible, because I knew that as soon as I was home and my butt hit the couch I would be out like a light (especially after a couple of drinks). Far before midnight happens. Because I'm old.

When did I get so old?

So we got home around 9:30. And we watched about 30 seconds of the NYE coverage live form Times Square before I was utterly pissed off and bored all at the same time. We then continued our marathon of The League. (When the weekend was over, we had 3 episodes left of the series to watch. You read that right, series. Not season.)

Around 11:15 I convinced Zach it was okay to go to bed - I had to promise not to go to sleep. And I didn't! I made it until 12:30, even. We watched the ball drop from the comfort of our own pillows.

How did you spend NYE this year? Hopefully you at least got a kiss.

New Year! (and two "healthy" recipes!)

2011-12-28T14:43:00.001-08:00

So with 2012 just around the corner, it's time for resolutions.

And I know what you are thinking. This isn't the first time I've made goals that kind of fell of the map.

So anyway. Why not set more goals that I won't achieve? That's great for self-esteem, I've heard.

The other night, Zach said to me (and yes I am writing it down, much to his dismay I imagine), "I think we should start watching art galleries."

Okay, he didn't say that. But that's what I thought he said.

I tried to remain calm since he prefaced that statement with "I'm probably going to regret this but..." which to me implied that it was something I was certainly going to LIKE. So when he said "art galleries"? Time pretty much stopped, at least in my head, as I tried desperately to think of something to say that would still lead him to BELIEVE I was the type of lady who would enjoy a stroll through the gallery, admiring the work (is that what they say?) but at the same time PREVENT ME from ever having to step foot in one of those places where people go crazy over ugly "art" that I'm SURE I could have made myself. Yes, I am one of those people who cannot appreciate abstract art.

So instead of talking, I bought time. "Hmm?"

"We should try to watch our calories."

OHHH! Thank God. I think?

So anyway - In 2012 (after New Year's Day, of course), the Milton's will "watch our calories."

And I have to say, I'm a little concerned already. I've always been the type who would much rather exercise and eat whatever (well not whatever, but you get it). I've been scouring www.eatingwell.com trying to find "good for you" recipes hidden in "casserole" and "pasta."

And we've already had two successful meals! Chicken Piccata with mushrooms and Creamy Hamburger Casserole.

So we are going to try hard - but pretend like it's not really all that hard since we are eating "pastas" and "casseroles."

Hey, did you know that whole wheat pasta tastes the same as regular pasta? No joke.

So anyway - while this resolution isn't exactly a resolution - it's really more of a vague, ill-written statement - I'm determined to either (1) make it more specific or (2) prove to the world that vague, ill-written goals are still achievable.

And now I will elliptical and watch more of The League. Before preparing our menu for tomorrow. Which won't really be HEALTHY perse, but it will be lucky. Because that's what you do on New Year's - eat LUCKY food.

Hot Yoga is For Someone Else.

2011-12-21T17:54:00.000-08:00

Hot Yoga is like exercising in a tanning bed, only without the light and without the tan. Which leaves the only part I hate about tanning - The Heat.

Also? I saw a sweaty butt crack. And it wasn't my own.

The only rule the instructor gave me was: "Do not leave the room. You don't have to do all of the poses, but whatever you do, don't leave the room."

I broke that rule. Call me crazy, but as soon as you can't even lay down without feeling comfortable, it's time to go. When you are so covered in sweat that you can't even touch two parts of your skin together and have them stay like that, it's time to go. WHEN YOU CAN'T TELL IF THAT'S SWEAT, SNOT (OR BLOOD?) BELOW YOUR NOSE, RUN. AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

The good news is ... Well, there actually is no good news. I tried really hard to think of something good that came out of this experience and the best I had was that I got a free bottle of water. And frankly, I don't give a flying poo about that.

5 Days Until Christmas.

2011-12-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

I was complaining to my boss today that I think that there is some error in our system that has screwed up my annual leave balance. How can it be that I only have like... 11 hours? SOMEONE IS STEALING MY LEAVE. CLEARLY. Half joking, of course, he pulls the timesheets and explains that, this year alone, I:

Went to Maine for a week in June
Took two days off for Steve and Ashley's wedding in August
Took two days off to go to NYC for a long weekend in July
Took three days off for Thanksgiving to go to Florida
Ducked out early like every other Friday for something or another (for example, Susan G. Komen Walk, Bruce Springsteen, other weddings, and countless long weekends to Pennsylvania.)

Well that shut me right up. Thank you for keeping such awesome records.

Needless to say, our trip to Pennsylvania this year for Christmas will be, ahem, quite abbreviated.

2011 has a lot to live up to. And it's already set up for failure based on length alone.

Plus:

My sister and Brodie are staying in Florida this year.

No tree farms with Lindsay.

No Sweet Caroline. Or Matt or Kara.

And since I had the entire week between Christmas and New Year's off last year, I need to pack all the fun I can into a few days.

I want 2010 back. Wompity womp womp womp.

Taking festive to whole new level.

2011-12-18T15:47:00.001-08:00

Is there such a thing as a classy portapotty?

I can tell you there is not. But now, after our trip to Three Fox Vineyards yesterday, I can tell you that there are some VERY festive ones.
Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Best. Oatmeal. Raisin. Cookies. Ever.

2011-12-18T13:43:00.000-08:00

I know. I don't meet many cookies I don't like. But I don't even joke (not even a little bit) when I say these Oatmeal Raisin cookies will change your life.

I die. Well, I at least gain weight.

Here is why I love them:

They are small. Therefore, you can eat more of them.
They have molasses in them.
They are crunchily delicious.

I got this recipe from my most favorite co-worker. It is her recipe. It was published in a cookbook.

I swear.

And if you haven't already made all of your Christmas cookies yet, you should throw these into the mix. Unless you are going to see me on Christmas, because I just finished making about 72,000 of them.

Here you go:

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Ingredients:

2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
2 1/2 cups oatmeal
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 egg, beaten
1 cup. salted butter, melted
1/2 cup crisco, melted
1 tablespoon molasses
1 cup chopped pecans (the more the merrier)
1 cup of raisins (the more the merrier)

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 325. In a large bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking soda, oatmeal, and cinnamon together. Add beaten egg, butter, Crisco, and molasses. Mix well. Stir in pecans and raisins. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls on buttered cookie sheets. Bake for 12-14 minutes, or until golden brown.

And when she says teaspoonful, she means teaspoonful. Just baby-sized. I already ate 3 of them today. And right now my husband is making nutella filled chocolate chip cookies.

We may not make it til Christmas.

Help.

Wine Day! Oh, and Shopping too!

2011-12-17T05:17:00.000-08:00

Last weekend when we were away, we decided that we would spend Saturday shopping in Middleburg and then we would visit a bunch of wineries and do some tastings.

We shopped for a total of probably like 35 minutes. You could tell we weren't in the proverbial Kansas anymore by this parking meter alone:I love free.

But Middleburg itself is the cutest town ever. Well that's probably not true, but check out this coffee shop that reminded me of my Aunt Dee:
And I don't know the story, but they have homemade ornaments on the bush/trees in town:
How cute is that?

And then there was this silver pineapple:
One day, when I have all the time in the world, I am going to decorate for Christmas with fruit.

That might sound ghetto - but I promise it will be awesome.

Enough of Middleburg. Let's go wine tasting, shall we?

We visited four wineries: Chrysalis, Bluemont, Doukenie, and Casanel. Here are the results:

Best Wine: Chrysalis in Middleburg
Best Views: Bluemont in... well... Bluemont (ha!)

I was disappointed in Doukenie, but mostly because they wouldn't take our coupon. Just because they decided to quit taking them. Even though they weren't expired. And it said "Doukenie Winery" on it. I was most looking forward to Doukenie too because it's name reminded me of Pittsburgh (it's pronounced "Duquesn-ee" and if you aren't from Pittsburgh, "Du-kane-ee"). But being the frugal (or perhaps downright cheap?) person I am, non-acceptance of your own non-expired coupon is non-acceptable to me. Got it?

And I know the tastings are intended for you to buy more. And we would have. Under two circumstances: (1) the wine is good and (2) we didn't spend $16.00 on wine tasting.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox now. Doukenie's wine is okay, but not good enough to pay for on top of the $16.00 wine tasting fee. (!!!)

On the other hand, Chrysalis didn't offer free tastings (and they didn't lore us in with free coupons either!!), but since their wine was our favorite, we bought some of "Sarah's Patio Red." We bought it for the taste and the history: It's named after a woman who used to live on the property. Her headstone was discovered during the conversion of the property into a vineyard and they named the wine after her so, just in case, she wouldn't haunt the property. And her wine was the best. I thought that was a pretty cool story.

It's a summer wine, but I say we jack the heat up to 90 in the house and drink it in the winter.

Or even don't jack up the heat and drink it to warm yourself up. Did I mention I was cheap?

I took this photo as we were leaving:
Bluemont had the best views, but their wine was just mediocre at best. Zach and I took some photos there:

And then of the winery itself!

I love this piece of furniture!And then we went to Casanel, which was who-knows-where. And I don't say that because by now I had had a few ... It's because it was in the middle of nowhere. I swear.

We bought a bottle of Malbec there because (1) it was delicious! (2) We had just come from Doukenie where they didn't take our coupon and Casanel did and (3) Because it had some history too - It was the last bottle label they were ever going to make that pictured the original structure of the property on it. Yes - I'm a sucker for anything historic.

As long as it's American History. I know that sounds bad. But it's true. I know it sounds really Amurican of me - but other countries' histories bore me. We ARE being honest with each other, right?

My husband, the cat lady.

2011-12-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

My husband made a new best friend when we were in Middleburg. Here is his friend, er, riding him.

This could be love.

Where we spent our Weekend

2011-12-11T16:58:00.000-08:00

I just want to share a few photos of the Bed and Breakfast we stayed in this past weekend in Middleburg, Virginia.

It's exactly fifty six minutes from our door step - far enough away to leave your daily stresses behind but not too far that you lose the entire day in miserable travel time.

I realize that Bed and Breakfasts probably aren't for everyone. But I do have a love for country decor and old houses. And beds. And breakfast, of course.

The name of the Inn was Briar Patch Bed and Breakfast. Here are some photos of the home itself:

Here are some photos of the kitchen and common living spaces:

And here is one of the rooms that belonged to us for the weekend:

And yes, we did have two bedrooms. The rooms that were part of the Living Social deals were sold out when I tried to change our reservation, so they gave us a two room suite! We chose the other one over this one, but this one was much prettier.

We had the best time ever. And even though I was worried about the cooking class, it turns out there was nothing at all to worry about. Zach actually enjoyed it (perhaps more than I did - he even got an apron!).

I want to go back next weekend, and the next weekend, and the next.

Are you a B&B fan? Where was your best stay?

Greetings, from Middleburg.

2011-12-10T05:44:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was drying my hair in the bedroom of our Bed & Breakfast, I read the journal they put in the room for all of those who stay to write.

I read 6 years of entries, most of which described how hospitable the owners were, how quaint the house and rooms are, how beautiful the scenery was.

But one, in particular struck my fancy. It was not about the cozy home we are staying in. It was about food and food alone.

Jeff, from Munhall PA (Go PITT Panthers) writes, "If you go to the French Hound in Middleburg, for lunch try the lamb wrap. it was much better than the pizza, which was kind of bland."

I lol-ed. And if you didn't, you need to imagine Jeff from Munhall PA in this cozy little place, decorated with antiques and fireplaces, with a glass of red wine in his hand and read it again in your best Pittsburgh accent. Oh, and I imagine Jeff looking sort of like Chipped Ham Sam. That should help you too.

LivingSocial. And Getting out of Dodge.

2011-12-07T17:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you've heard of LivingSocial. It's one of those websites, similar to Groupon, where there is a deal of the day you can purchase for up to 90% off.

Here's how random it is. These are the "deals" I bought in the past:

Two movie tickets for $9.00
A $20.00 gift card to Amazon for $10.00

And a little more random:

5 Hot Yoga classes for $25.00 (that I've never used)
A beer brewing kit (that is still in the box it was shipped in - on the floor in my kitchen. I'm giving it away as a Christmas gift. I know what you are thinking. On one hand, I, too, feel like it is kind of like re-gifting. But honestly - I WANT the beer brewing kit. But for someone with as little patience as I have, it overwhelms me. But don't start begging - I already have the recipient in mind.)

And finally, the one we are cashing in on soon:

A 2 night stay at a bed and breakfast in Middleburg, VA for $275.00. It includes 2 nights, breakfasts both mornings, 3 passes for wine tastings at local vineyards, wine for the room, and a box of chocolates.

Does it get any more out of our league than that?

Funny you should ask, because yes, it does.

It all started when I realized that our reservation was for next weekend. You know, the weekend before Christmas. When we have to shop. Because we enjoy emotional pain and being anxious and sitting in traffic. It's super fun.

So anyway - I called and asked if we could switch our reservation to a different weekend.

For the weekend we ended up picking, the short answer was Yes, we could. The long answer was Yes we could, but we will need another $95.00 per person and then on Friday night you can meet the owners of a local winery and have some hors d'oeuvres pairings with some of their wine and mingle with some of the other people staying at the Inn and THEN on SATURDAY NIGHT AT 6:30, you will make your way to our gathering room where a local chef will host a cooking class and you will eat a 5 course meal prepared by him where he will prepare the meal right in front of you. Oh, and there will be wine pairings that night too.

Naturally, I first had to confirm that they said $95.00 per person, not, you know, $9.50 for both, or 95 cents each, or even $9.50 each.

Unfortunately, I didn't mishear. But even with it's hefty price tag, I'm all about trying new things.

Even if they force me into awkward social situations that make me feel uncomfortable. Because, after all, I am just a girl from a small town. With very few political opinions. Who much prefers reality TV to CNN. And beer to wine. Who's never had a martini. Who doesn't even know what duck confit IS, but will be eating it on Saturday night. Who refuses to spend more than $20.00 on any article of clothing. Who clips coupons. Who wouldn't get out of her yoga pants on the weekend if people at the grocery store (and her best friend Lindsay) wouldn't judge her.

So we signed up.

Help me. Help us all.

Gonzo's Christmas Tree

2011-12-05T15:39:00.000-08:00

My sister has a dog.

His name is Gonzo. And I have to admit, I am not a dog person.

But I am a Gonzo-person. And I don't care who knows it.

So when we were in Florida, we took Gonzo shopping for his first real Christmas tree. Gonzo wasn't allowed to actually walk around the lot, you know, just in case he felt "the urge."
And he didn't like being held very much, especially when there were just so many trees he could, er, make his mark on.

"Put me down, ma. Please."

"Over there, Ma! You're looking the wrong way, ya dummy."

"I smell something. Could it be..."

"MY TREE! Just the right size. Look for this photo on a Christmas card in your mailbox, Folks. What's that, ma? You have more than 4 ornaments? AND LIGHTS? ARRGGHHH. Back to the drawing board."

"You know what? I don't have time for this. Ma, just get the damn tree and get the hell out of here."

"NO CHIT CHAT! What did I just say?!"

"Okay, Dad. Get out your Visa and pay the woman. Football starts in 14 minutes and I want a pizza."

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

"King of Christmas. Phew. I'm exhausted."

"Okay, Aunt Morgan. Get me down."

No caption necessary. Except that I wish I would have snapped this photo about a 1/2 second earlier when Zach was holding his end up just a liiiittle higher.

"Uncle Zach and I will lay here while you nerds decorate my tree."

Nerd.

Nerds.

Tall Nerd.

Funny-faced nerd.

"AHHH! Behold. Christmas Tree a la Gonz."

"Ugh, Kitty. MA! Get your dirty lips off him! YUCK."

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-12-03T05:12:00.000-08:00

We spent Thanksgiving again this year in Florida with my sister and future Brother-in-Law (Vegas October 2012, what! what!).

And true to form, I took very few photos of people. And tons of the table and food.

So I will share a few of those here. Including these cute owl name cards I made from a kit at Paper Source.Yes, we had a little craft session again on Thanksgiving morning. Last year we made pumpkins, this year owls. My sister wasn't as enthused this year, but I don't care because this is a tradition now. And everyone loved them.

Oh! And during our craft session, we watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. And I generally am not a fan of the performance part of the parade, but this year we had a connection to the parade! My mom's best friend's son's fiance (Pittsburgh September 2012, what! what!), Margo's, (we really are a lot closer than that sounds - in fact, when I need to talk about my mom's best friend's son to people who don't know him I just say "my cousin Dude" - and yes - his name is Dude) company made these costumes:

photo credit here

Was that the longest run-on sentence ever? I don't even think it made sense.

Anyway, so while we made our little owls and got ready for the day, we watched Margo's costumes dance through the streets of NYC. It was quite exciting to watch! Congrats, Margo!

Then it was food and wine time!

Here's the table:
My mom bought the flowers at Publix, which is the best supermarket in the world. Oh, and Sanjaya joined us again this year!

Menu was similar to last year's. We had: Turkey, Ham, Maple Apple Sweet Potatoes, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Brussel Sprouts with Grapes, Mac n Cheese, Biscuits, Cinnamon Rolls, Corn Salad, and Aunt Dee's World Famous Stuffing.
Here is my plate. Round 1.

And I stress "Round 1."

I do have one photo of me and Zach.
Oh look! There is Sara is the background!

So, true to form, our Thanksgiving dinner was freaking awesome. We almost doubled the number of guests but it really went off without a hitch.

Oh - there was one. My sister has one of those flat top stoves that are easy to clean, but sometimes it's hard to tell if they are on or not. When my sister went to put the frosting on the cinnamon rolls, she put the frosting packet on one of the burners, thinking it was off, and the plastic melted in with the frosting. But! A little plastic never hurt anyone (that's probably not true) so my sister ate the one with the plastic. Because I sure as hell wasn't doing that.

Thanksgiving Wine

2011-11-28T11:42:00.001-08:00

When we arrived in Florida on Wednesday night, our first stop was the grocery store. Because they sell wine in the grocery stores in Florida. And my mom can't celebrate Thanskgiving without green olives.

And I decided that it was a good idea to buy not one, not two, not three, but four! bottles of wine. Because they were buy one get one free. And I like wine.

And I thought to myself (and said out loud), "There is something very wrong here. What am I thinking?"

But I bought it anyway and can I just say that by 1:00pm on Thanksgiving we had to make a wine run? All four bottles weren't COMPLETELY gone by then, but they were well on their way.
And for not wanting to buy four bottles to begin with, check out what we killed the rest of the four days the Baxter women were together:

Just kidding. Sara actually bought all of those wine corks from a drunk monk in St. Augustine.

One of these stories is almost true. I'll just go ahead and let you decide for yourself.

The Big Vanity Reveal

2011-11-21T16:31:00.000-08:00

So as I said in my last blog, the girls did a-lotta cookin' on Saturday in preparation for the Milton-Style Thanksgiving dinner, the boys were workin' hard in the bathroom.

Let me start with my inspiration. I'm not ashamed to admit my *ahem*, LOVE, for Young House Love. These two kids never cease to get me excited about some new project, from our Love Photo Wall to repurposing old furniture to what I am about to share with you.

I was VERY inspired by two of their posts and combined them into one big huge idea for the vanity outside of our bathroom. Here are the two posts:

Attack of the 13-Foot Counter and Tackling the Bathroom: Chapter 7. My mouth watered.

Zach and I even checked out those exact nightstands-turned-vanities YHL used in their bathroom in New York City at a Crate and Barrel before determining that they were too short for us.

But we already had a perfect sized vanity that I already redid. But we wanted double sinks. And a double sink in the goofy-ass size of our vanity didn't exist. Enter Young House Love. And some convincing.

We built a counter top. Using the same guidelines YHL did.

I was in charge of sanding and staining. Zach was in charge of everything else. Before it was even built, without doing much of my own research whatsoever, I just went ahead and bought two of the sinks YHL talks about in their Tackling the Bathroom: Chapter 7. I seriously have no patience for things like that. I mean, they did the research and it looks great, why even bother to measure? Seriously.

Anyway, the sinks are Kraus and came from Amazon (free shipping with Amazon Prime, what! what!) and the faucets came from Overstock.

Then I repainted the walls in the vanity area with semi-gloss because it gets wet a lot. And therefore gross.

Then, this past weekend, two of my favorite men installed everything, to also include flooring to match what's in the bathroom.

And can I just say, this is my new favorite room in the house.

Way before, just in case you missed it:

Then after I spashed on a new coat of paint back in May:

And now... for your viewing pleasure...

Our new vanity area!

And another:

And another:

AND ANOTHER:

We love it so much we could cry. All we still need to do is add a stained piece of wood along the bottom of the vanity to cover up some yucky stuff and replace the light fixture. Because it is ugly.

But really, I love this. It is my new favorite thing in our house. And instead of blowing thousands getting a new vanity (and let's be honest, it wouldn't be as cool as this one anyway!) the whole budget is roughly as follows:

$50 per faucet ($100 total)
$100 per sink ($200 total)
$40 for the wood, stain, and sealer
$40 per mirror ($80 total)
$30 for the rug
$100 for the flooring
$10 for a new towel ring
$80 for all of the plumbing (of which we have a few things to take back! - BONUS!)

So there you have it. For about $600 (and, um, a few labor hours) we have this. Totally. Freaking. Worth. Every. Penny.

Any home improvement projects going on at your house? I think I have an addiction to them.

Thanksgiving - Milton Style.

2011-11-20T15:04:00.000-08:00

This weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving with Zach's mom and dad who were visiting from Pennsylvania.

I use the word "celebrate" loosely, because really all we did that was Thanksgiving-like was eat.

And boy did we eat.

Zach's mom and I slaved all day in the kitchen. We made: Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole,Sugar Cookies, Pumpkin Pie, Rolls, Corn, Cranberry Sauce, and Olives. Okay, so there wasn't much "making" involved with the last four things.

But it wasn't easy. But neither was what the men were doing in the bedroom.

Okay, that sounded bad. But what I mean was how they were transforming the sink area of our bedroom.

Here's the waaaay before. Like when we moved in.Here's what it looked like on Friday.
But it gets waaay better. Hope your balls aren't too blue, because that share won't happen until we have some new mirrors hung. Previews are on my Facebook page, if you are my friend.

But anyway, back to the food.

Here are some photos:
We are canned goods kind of people.
Hi Cindy! Hi Turkey!
Rolls, Mashed Potatoes in the making, Sweet Potatoes ready to go.
Turkey and cookies!

We used the China we inherited from Zach's Grandma. Zach's mom told me that this was the first time they were probably ever used.
Yummm.
Here we all are - me in the sliding class door! And yes, Gretchen, I saved the wine you gave me for Thanksgiving! And boy was it delicious!

Big Winner

2011-11-20T14:43:00.000-08:00

There is this thing they do in my hometown. An event, if you will. A bash. This is how I describe it:

You buy a ticket. Your ticket has two three digit numbers on it. You take your ticket to the local fire hall on a specific night. Every 10 minutes, they call a number. The prizes range from gift cards worth $100 all the way up to the grand prize of $2,000 cash. If it is one of your numbers, you win. If it is not, your name may be Doreen Walters. Just kidding, Doreen.

There are other ways to win. For example, they sell tips throughout the night or MAYBE, if you are REALLY lucky, you might win a door prize.

What is the door prize you might ask?

Well, you know what they say about pictures, and how they are worth 1,000 words and all.

Veteran's Day 2011

2011-11-15T15:46:00.000-08:00

Instead of spending Veteran's Day roasting in my office, I spent my holiday reflecting and celebrating.

John and Lissa invited me to go to the Veteran's Day parade in Donora where I was humbled beyond words by the strength and poise shown by the men and women the parade celebratedThank you, Veterans, for all you have done and continue to do. We owe you everything.

I couldn't resist taking a photo of the Boy Scouts, you know, being a Girl Scout leader and all!

Oh, and did I mention that it was so super cold this Veteran's Day?
Lissa lent me gloves and I *STILL* had frozen fingers. But if these men and women could withstand war, heartache, and death, I could withstand 45 minutes in the cold to honor them.

How did you celebrate our Veterans this year?

In small towns, you get much bigger bang for your buck.

2011-11-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

I briefly mentioned that last weekend we enjoyed a delish dinner at Landini Brothers in Old Town. We each had one entree, unlimited bread, and one glass of wine. Our bill was $93.00.

This weekend, in Monongahela, we got $100 from the ATM and spent it as follows:

A delish Italian dinner for two (and more than two drinks for me!) at Angelo's for $34.00
Two pieces of furniture at a local thrift store: $20.00 for the TV console and $10.00 for an end table (I smell two new projects abrewin')
I lent my mom $20.00 because the bank was closed in honor of Veteran's Day
Coffee at the local coffee shop $5.00

And then! I even had $11.00 left to go towards a ticket to tonight's Holiday Bash where I am going to clean house and win $2,000.00. And my mom still owed me $20.00.

BAM. Another reason we need to move back to this area.

On Best Friends.

2011-11-09T18:29:00.000-08:00

Tonight was THE LAST time Lindsay and I were together while she is still a Virginia resident. That’s right, friends. For those of you who don’t know, my dearest friend is moving back to Michigan for good on Saturday.

I’ve been really emotional over this the past few weeks and I really don’t want to rehash that publicly, so I won’t. But I do have a few things I want to say about best friends in general, and that if you have only one of them you should consider yourself very, very lucky.

Everyone needs at least one single person who they can be COMPLETELY and UTTERLY and (often even) BRUTALLY honest with. All the time. No bullshit, no tiptoeing, no nothing. I’m not saying you can be cruel without consequence – not at all. It’s a little tough to explain, but if you have this person in your life, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You can show up in your pajamas. You don’t need to make up excuses if you don’t want to go to Happy Hour – you just say you don’t want to go. If you don’t agree with something she does – you tell her. This person knows the uncensored you. She understands you to the core. You are comfortable being vulnerable around her. She “gets” you. If that makes sense. YOU CAN PEE WITH THE DOOR OPEN. That's it. That's the test. I’m not saying you HAVE to pee with the door open, but if you can’t even fathom that, forget it.

So anyway, take it or leave it. But remember this: there are so few people in the world that meet this definition for me. But Lindsay is one of them. And she will continue to be one of them, even if we can’t meet for a weeknight dinner at Lost Dog, or cut down a Christmas tree together, or just hang out on Sundays and watch football. Even if four whole states separate us. Even if I only get to see her four times a year.

Cupcake Party

2011-11-08T16:54:00.000-08:00

I'm going to cut right to the chase. Saturday night we had 5 friends over (some old, some new!) for a cupcake and wine party. At 11:00 at night. After eating Italian food in Old Town and listening to some crazy stories for 3 hours.

But yes - we had a cupcake party. I bought cupcakes from Red Velvet in Arlington, and our friends brought some from Crumbs in DC and Caroline's in Baltimore. We had like 24 cupcakes.

I have photos to prove it.
I mean, it looks like a dream come true, doesn't it? Well, it pretty much was.

We ate cupcakes, we drank wine. We chatted, we laughed, we played games. Half of us were in our pajamas. We stayed up way late.

I had the best time. I wish time could have stood still between the hours of 11 and 1. But alas, even though it was Daylight Savings, we fell asleep around 2.

I wish all weekends could have been as awesome as this past one. In fact, I wish every day could be as full of memories as this past weekend was.

BRUUUUUCE

2011-11-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

So. Um. There really aren't words to describe the experience(s) my mom and I had on Friday night at the Joe Grushecky/Bruce Springsteen concert at Soldiers and Sailors in Pittsburgh.

Actually, there are PLENTY of words to describe the evening. Fun, Yuengling, hijack, cement, to name a few. But my mom swore me to secrecy so instead of throwing us both under the bus, I will share some of my favorite (blurry) photos. Which are actually kind of terrible, considering our seats. Did I mention the Yuengling?

I call this one "Three Sheets to the Wind":

Games, and why you probably shouldn't be on my team.

2011-11-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

So we had some friends over last night and played this really fun game called "Celebrity." There were seven of us. Here's how it works. Bare with me because this game is VERY fun. You should play it the next time you have a get together.

Everyone playing writes down 4 words or phrases on little pieces of paper and then everyone puts the words (clues) into a bowl. Here are some examples of what you can write: teeth, aardvark, Justin Beiber's love child, inappropriate dinner conversation, Donald Trump's hairpiece ... Anything you want.

You break into two teams.

During round one, team one picks clues from the bowl and has one minute to describe as many of the clues as they can to their team only. After a minute is over, the clues are passed to team two and they have one minute to describe as many as they can. Each correctly guessed clue is worth 1 point. The round goes on and on until all of the clues are guessed. I should specify that only one person picks the clues and then the others on their team guess.

Then, for round two, all of the same clues put back into the bowl and used again. Only this time, you have to act out the clues instead of describing them. Same rules as round one.

For round three, you can only use ONE WORD to describe the clue.

During round three, my clue was Bruce Springsteen.

My one word? "Sexy."

Can you believe that no one got it? I mean come on now. I've had almost 24 hours to think about this. And I *STILL* cannot think of one better word.

Cat beds and the cats that sleep in them.

2011-11-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

Nothing warms my heart more than opening my bedroom door and seeing Shawn in his little bed. Did I ever mention we have the best cats ever? Here’s how I know: (1) They *BOTH* use their scratching post and (2) they sleep in their beds. Have you ever met a cat that slept in his own bed?

Okay that’s a stretch. Because Pockets does no sleeping in her cat bed. Instead, Shawn not only sleeps in his cat bed, but he also sleeps in his sister’s cat bed. But the point is that SOMEONE uses the damn cat beds we bought them. Even though as I handed over the Discover card to pay $50 for both, all I could think was that the people who make cat beds were laughing at me. The lady at the checkout was laughing at me. Why don’t I just take $50 and rip it to shreds for the cats to use in their litter boxes? Cats don’t sleep in cat beds. It’s a big joke on everyone.

But the thing is - mine does. Only thing that would make that better? If he allowed his sister to sleep in her cat bed. But he doesn’t. He just rotates between cat beds and doesn’t allow her in. This is how I know they are brother and sister and not husband and wife. Or wait. Maybe it more so means that they are husband and wife? Because Shawn (husband/brother) takes over the bed. He bites his sister/wife if she tries to get in. If they looked anything alike, I would lean towards brother/sister. But they don’t look ANYTHING alike. And the more I think about it, they kind of act like they are married. I mean, Zach ALWAYS takes the covers. But at least he doesn’t bite me when I try to get into bed.

I’m getting off track.

Oh wait. There wasn't a track to begin with. Except that I love Shawn and Pockets Milton.

Antelope Milton

2011-10-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

I've officially quit the gym. Again.

I'm still not sure if it was a good idea or not.

But this time I am not relying JUST on Jillian Michaels DVDs. I've got something else.

So now for the first time, I would like to introduce to you the newest member of the Milton Family, our new elliptical, Antelope Milton.

Yes, I named her. Her name is Antelope. I call her Ante for short. She is ginormous. And so far, I've spent 1 hour and 10 minutes of quality time with her. I think I'm in love.

Plus, I can watch Jeff Lewis while I work out. And I don't have to drive 20 minutes to the gym anymore.

I'm think I'm in love even more.

Denial.

2011-10-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

We had catered lunch yesterday at work and I ate three of the thickest slices of delicious pizza you’ve ever seen and a cupcake that was mediocre at best. And then I ran after work and it was very trying. In fact, in order to make it up the last (BIG) hill to our house, I sang “Living on a Prayer” OUT LOUD.
“Living on a Prayer” is EXTREMELY motivational. Test it out for yourself. I don’t even like Bon Jovi. (But I was close enough to touch him one night at a Nashville restaurant. And even though I don’t like him, I did squeeeeeeeeeeee, just a little.)
So about the run. During the run I told Zach I needed to start eating healthier. Running is hard when you’re weighed down by thick crust and greasy cheese.
Then I came into work this morning and ate another slice of that same pizza. Because if I didn’t, someone else would have. And I seriously can’t stand the thought of that. I’m sick, I know.
Yesterday I was talking to my friend Brenda about student loans. And I told her that I think if I am aggressive enough, I can pay those babies off in about 3 or 4 years. And she said, “You’ll have to be really good with your money.” And I said, “I am awesome with money. It’s Zach we have to worry about.”
And then I came home and was surfing around on Pinterest and came across this cute pom-pom garland that I want to make for our Christmas tree. So I went on Amazon and bought myself a pom-pom maker because, you know, good ol’ fashion cardboard circles aren’t good enough.
And then I realized that our last few purchases on Amazon included an elliptical, an elliptical mat, greaser for the elliptical, and new boots. All of which were my purchases. And then tonight I got home and realized I had bought (all within the span of my office and home) a belt, another pair of boots, a new lamp, and a new t-shirt. In my defense, the belt was for my Halloween costume and I got the boots, belt, and lamp at a thrift store for less than $20 total.
And then I realized this might be harder than I thought.
And that I may be in denial.

Country Roads

2011-10-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was clearing out some photos on my SD Card and I found this one. I took this photo on my way back to Virginia.. I was on some back road in Central Pennsylvania.

I was half lost, but I had my dad's sense of direction, my Matt Nathanson CD, and a coffee from 7-11.

Bathroom Plans. And lots of links.

2011-10-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite time of year. The scenery is beautiful, the weather is starting to cool down, we can have fires in the fireplace, and I love pumpkins more. More than what? I don't know. More than... A million other things.

Besides it being my favorite time of year, I've really gotten excited about making more improvements in our house. Our master bathroom renovation, no matter how stressful and expensive, is beautiful. And we love it a lot. That motivated us right into trying our own hands at renovating one of our half baths.

Our original vision for the master bathroom included breaking down walls, a walk-in closet, and a bathtub separate from a stand-up shower. Instead, our vision when we finished the project didn't involve any walls moving, no closet change, and no bathtub.

But hey, things change. Right?

So anyway, after rethinking and working some numbers on the calculator, we hired a contractor to do the demolition, new shower installation (complete with custom glass door and tile from floor to ceiling!), and to put in laminate flooring and a new toilet.

Now, that still leaves us with a few problems:

1. Our closet is still a pain in the ass. So much of the open space isn't accessible without some advanced acrobatic training. I mean, I don't even have to do lower back or ab exercises anymore.

2. Our vanity is in the bedroom. And I kind of like that, to be honest. I like the idea of having the vanity outside of the bathroom because I can get ready for work in the morning while Zach showers without setting any records for a white woman with the world's largest afro.

So it is a problem because I get make-up and hair on the carpet. And also because we want double sinks.

Here's how we will fix these problems:
1. Some day soon, we are going to buy the dresser that matches our bedroom furniture.

OR! If we can find a secondhand dresser that sort of matches, maybe we could do stain match and redo it. $599.00 seems like a lot for a dresser...

Once that is in place, we will reorganize the closet wire shelving and maybe then I will start having to do crunches again. Which will be okay with me.

This solution does not allow for full utilization of the closet, but whatever. It's the best solution we've got!

2. We are removing the carpet in front of the vanity. We will be replacing it with the same laminate flooring used by the contractor in the master bathroom. Then, we will remove the vanity top. And we are replacing it with this idea I got from Young House Love. We will make a counter top using 2 x 10's and some great stain and sealer. Then, with the help of Zach's dad, we are going to add two shallow basin sinks that will sit on top of the wooden vanity top. Add to that some chrome faucets and it will be beautiful.

The only thing we have left to plan is the mirror/storage.

I've already sanded and stained all of the wood pieces. Zach is going to put them together to form one vanity top this weekend. And then towards the end of November, we will put it all together.

Can't wait.

New Bathroom

2011-10-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

Our bathroom is just about complete: All we need to do is shop is shop for a new towel and maybe a new rug. I would also like to paint the (original) light fixture and Zach still needs to change out the outlet and the light switch. Both of which have white plates and off-white outlets and switches.

I would like to be one of those people who has decorative towels that you aren't supposed to use, but I'm pretty sure that Zach would divorce me. If we would have had a prenup, it definitely would have outlined that there would never be any decorative towels. Ever. It would probably have said "Any towel in the Milton household can be used for any reason towels should be used. For example, if a rag is needed, but there are no rags, towels can be ruined, no matter what their purpose was originally. Therefore, there shall never EVER be any towel in the Milton house that has a specific purpose, ESPECIALLY not a specific purpose of decoration."

So anyway. Photos.

Unfortunately, there are no before photos of this bathroom. Here are the details: white vanity with gold hardware. Ugly faucet. Yellow tile. Yellow toilet. Green walls.

I'll let your imagination fill in the rest.

Here's what it looks like today:Note: No more yellow toilet. Note to self: Remove tag from toilet riser. Toilet: Home Depot $100

Decor above toilet:
Tin art: HomeGoods $19.99. Shelf: Habitat ReStore $2.00. Mugs: HomeGoods, Twig Thrift Store in Old Town, and stolen from my mom's house $12.50.

Painted Vanity, new white vanity top, and hardware:
Paint and vanity: free! Vanity Top: Home Depot $120, Hardware: Home Depot, $12.00

Overhead shot:

Tile: Free. Well actually we originally paid out the ass for it, but that was a long time ago and I know that as an accountant I should really acknowledge that it wasn't free, but really it was. Everything was already here too, except the grout, cement backer, and new trim. But I have no idea what that stuff cost. Zach was in charge of that.

We painted the walls the same really pale green that we used in our new master bathroom. So even though we paid for it back then, I'm claiming it was free. Because the money was already gone. We were just extra resourceful.

I just want to take a minute to tell yinz all how proud I am of my bub. The projects aren't stopping here. And even though it might not be perfect, it is ours. And we love it.

A Sunday Afternoon List

2011-10-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

1. I am obsessed with the Bravo TV show "Flipping Out." I woke up at 6:15 this morning to watch the final 4 episodes of the first season and I need to wake Zach up to download more seasons for me. I love Jeff Lewis. I couldn't work for him. He reminds me too much of my stint at the creperie, but I love him. And Jenni too.

2. Our half bathroom will be done (besides some decorating details) today. That's right. Today.

3. Last night we went to Guapo's with Zach's friend and his family. We love Guapo's so much. If you've never been to Guapo's, you really need to go. And as Zach's friend pointed out, "You really have to try this butter." And he wasn't kidding. The butter is delicious. We are pretty sure they put crack in it.

4. My mom is coming to visit next weekend! I can't wait to show her our house. Yes, she's been here before - but not since last summer! I feel like we've had quite a few changes since then.

5. I'm making beef stew for dinner tonight. We are going to watch football (unfortunately not the Steelers) and eat it all up.

6. I must go make it now.

7. After I sweep the steps because they are really gross.

8. K Bye. Back later with bathroom pics. Probably.

Pumpkin Pancakes

2011-10-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning at 6 o'clock, after waking him up just to say I love you, Zach asked if we could have pancakes for breakfast. I said yes, but it might be more like Brunch because I had to go to the gym. Ironic, yes?

So I cleaned the floors, folded some laundry, made a grocery list, and watched two episodes of the Jersey Shore.

Can you think of any better way to spend a morning off? I probably could, but I'm not going to think too hard because it was a pretty sweet morning.

Anyway, I went to the gym and watched Regis and Kelly (which is another favorite thing to do on a day off!) and then I went and got stuff to make this recipe. As soon as Zach asked for pancakes, I remembered this awesome sounding recipe I found over at Heather Drive just a week or so ago.

When I got home around 10:30 or so, Zach was about to eat his own arm, because as he explained it was way too early to eat leftover spaghetti and that was all we had.

"Not to worry, my dear. Let's eat."

Without further ado, here is the recipe for Pumpkin Pancakes.

Let me just say, these are awesome. AWESOME. We had them for Brunch on Monday and for dinner tonight. We also tried out some Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey and Apple Cider, which I also highly recommend.

Pumpkin Pancakes!
(Source: Adapted from Allrecipes.com by Heather, then adapted from Heather by me)

Ingredients:
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 tbsp. brown sugar
- 1 tbsp. granulated sugar
- 2 tsp. baking powder
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 1 tsp. ground allspice
- 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp. ground ginger
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1 1/2 cups milk
- 1 cup pumpkin puree
- 2 eggs
- 2 tbsp. vegetable oil
- 2 tbsp. vinegar (we used apple cider vinegar)
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:
1. In a small bowl, mix together the milk, pumpkin, eggs, oil, vinegar, and vanilla.

2. In a separate, larger bowl, combine the flour, sugars, baking powder, baking soda, and spices.

3. Add pumpkin/milk mixture into the large bowl with the dry ingredients. Stir just until combined.

4. Heat a lightly oiled (I use nonstick spray - as did Heather) griddle or skillet over medium high heat. Pour or scoop batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

So when I say we adapted it, I really mean I just used apple cider vinegar in place of regular. Also, having Tennessee Honey and Apple Cider was a nice treat. :)

You need to make these. Like immediately.

Goodbye Yellow (Brick Road) Toilet.

2011-10-09T12:44:00.000-07:00

Finally... The day we've all been waiting for.

Well maybe it was just me.

Finally... The day I've been waiting for.

Goodbye Yellow Toilet! And nasty sink!

Here is Zach with one final pose with his beloved. Right before we shipped her off to the Habitat for Humanity Restore.

Because why wouldn't we expect someone would want to pay $35 for this beautiful yellow toilet?

More importantly, why wouldn't we want a $35 tax deduction?
Here she is, wetting her pants after realizing what was about to happen. (Yes, that is toilet water. Yes, Zach is convinced it was clean. Meanwhile, our neighbors hate us.)

When Free Turns into A New Bathroom.

2011-10-08T15:44:00.001-07:00

It all started with a gallon of green paint.

A free gallon of green paint nonetheless.

A free gallon of green paint that the guy at Sherwin Williams accidentally mixed when he was supposed to be mixing our new bathroom's wall color.

So it gave it to us.

And I had an idea.

An idea that started with a gallon of free green paint that the guy at Sherwin Williams accidentally mixed when he was supposed to be mixing our new bathroom's wall color.

An idea that started with said gallon of paint and ended with a new toilet, a tile saw, and cement backer screws. Oh, and new plumbing. And a bill for over $500 from Home Depot. And a new Fall wreath because I just couldn't pass it up.

That's right - we've officially began renovations on our half bath. We didn't rip it down to the studs, but here's the plan:

Remove yellow toilet, vanity, and yellow floor tiles. Check.
Sand and paint vanity and new $2 shelf from the Habitat for Humanity ReStore with free gallon of green paint. Check.
Prime and paint bathroom with same color used in the new bathroom upstairs. Check.
Install cement backer on the floor. Half check.
Cut 10 x 20 subway tiles used in upstairs bathroom down to 10 x 10. Check.
Lay new tile. (tomorrow)
Grout new tile. (Monday)
Replace broken pipe because Zach is too strong for his own good. (some night next week)
Put green vanity back in the bathroom. (Center it this time...) (some night next week)
Replace vanity top and faucet. (some night next week)
Install new toilet (some night next week)

Are you shocked? Because I certainly am. And I'm also starving. We are sick of looking at our dirty house for tonight so it's off to Bungalow's. Really wish they still had the mason jars of beer.

Diving into Fall

2011-10-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

I think it might finally be here. Pumpkins. Fires. Chili. Football. Fall scents from Yankee Candle.

Which will only give way to Christmas trees. Snow. Red and green. Time with family.

This past weekend we were in Pennsylvania for a family wedding when it happened. The furnace at my mom's house kicked on. And for the first time ever in my life, I was excited. Excited for cold weather. Excited for the leaves to change color. Excited for boots.

Am I going crazy? I don't think so. But you would think that after 26 years of hating the cold and hating winter, excitement would not be at the top of my list on a 48 degree rainy October day.

And then on Sunday when the weather didn't change at all and it continued to rain and it was still cold, I may have bitched a little bit, but I was more inspired. When Zach and I got back to Virginia around 4:00 or so, I went straight to HomeGoods for a few fall decorations. I picked out an awesome sounding Chipotle Turkey Apple Chili recipe from my Rachel Ray magazine. Zach made the recipe while I put up our (VERY LIMITED) fall decorations. I put a new "Autumn Leaves" melt in our melt warmer. Then he built us a fire and we ate the chili. And it rained.

And then he thanked me for salvaging an otherwise crappy Sunday. And I was thankful to him too. And for once it wasn't horrible.

I'm still not sure what came over us, but I hope we can keep the enthusiasm going throughout the entire season(s).

But don't put your money on it. I'm pretty sure I still hate the cold.

3-Day 2011

2011-09-27T04:29:00.000-07:00

There aren't many words to describe how my body felt after walking 60 miles in 3 days.

Okay, yes there are.

Tired. Sore. Calloused. Blistered. OLD. HURT.

But you know, most of it is easy to ignore when you remember why you are doing it. And even if you physically feel like crap, you can press on with ease when you see a man and his son walking in front of you, each one with their wife/mother's old tennis shoe dangling from their pack. When you see a dad and his two sons along the route cheering for everyone but holding a sign that reads "You Can Do It, Mom!" When that same dad shows up a mile or so down the road without his sons explaining that they wanted to walk with their mom for a little while. When you see a woman just about my age with a bandana wrapped around her bald head and a temporary tattoo under her right eye that reads "Survivor." When you're struggling up a hill but can see a woman at the top carrying a pink flag that says "My Sister." When you see her at the finish line carrying the same flag.
So glad I did it again this year. And looking forward to next.

This is why we don't have kids.

2011-09-21T17:07:00.000-07:00

Zach - I got something from my company in the mail today.

Morgan - OooOoo maybe it's a raise.

Zach - Maybe I'm getting fired.

Zach opens the envelope.

Morgan - OOoooOo Your stock statement!

(We both work for ESOP companies. And I know way more about what that means than he does.)

Zach - Oh yeah! Hm. So what should I do with it? Throw it away?

Morgan - NO! Why would you do that? We should file it away.

Zach - Oh, yes, because we have a fireproof safe. YOU KEEP OUR BIRTH CERTIFICATES AND SOCIAL SECURITY CARDS IN A TEAPOT.

Morgan - Well at least we know where they are.

Zach throws his stock certificate on the ground.

Zach - HERE SHAWN. PLAY WITH MY STOCK CERTIFICATE.

Does anyone know where I can get a fireproof safe on the cheap? Because we have old tax returns too. Somewhere.

Walk. And then when you are done, you walk some more.

2011-09-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

So last year when I did the 3-Day, I decided early on that I was going to do it. In the Spring I began training. And I walked a lot in the summer, but not a ton. It was over 100 degrees about 89% of the days last summer and I just wasn't about to be doing that.

So anyway, this year it took a lot of extra convincing but my coworker/walker friend G talked me into it again. And I had only a little over 50 days to train.

And today was the first day I walked more than 10 miles in one day.

And it was really really hard.

BUT! Luckily for us there were two fun sights to behold in DC this afternoon:

1. The Korean War Memorial - If you've never seen it, it is really a sight to behold. That was my first trip there and I have to say it is my favorite memorial of all.
2. A guy walking his cat. Yes, it was a cat on a leash.

So we walked and walked and walked until we walked 15 miles and then we ended at her husband's office where we picked up the car and drove home. But not before President Obama got in our way!

Police cars just pull their cars in front of the streets to block them when the president drives by. And we are jaded here in DC because G was all, "GAH! The president, damn! I guess we'll have to pull a U-turn in the middle of the street and cut off this taxi cab so we can go around."

Okay, she didn't say that last sentence. But she should have, because it scared the shit out of me. And the PRESIDENT was driving by. But we didn't even care because we were trying to get home. And I said, "G, people drive like maniacs here and you are one of them."

So wish me luck because next weekend I am walking 60 miles. And if you haven't donated yet, I would really appreciate it if you could. www.the3day.org and search for me!

Lake Michigan is really like those water fountains at Vegas.

2011-09-15T19:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this might be the worst blog ever because I'm pretty sure you have to be there to get the full experience.

I was in Michigan with Lindsay over Labor Day weekend for her sister's baby shower. But since it was my first trip to Michigan, Lindsay decided that I needed to see the Lake. Which was all well and fine with me because I like lakes. So we went to Lake Michigan and walked out to the end of the pier where there was a pretty lighthouse we weren't allowed to go in. Also, there were signs everywhere about people who were swimming in the water and ended up dying. SO DON'T GET IN THE LAKE. OR GET IN, JUST DON'T ACT STUPID.

Anyway, we walked to the end, all the way past the lighthouse we weren't allowed in, and it essentially was just where the concrete met the water and the waves would pound against it. So you sit out there and since the waves are coming in all different directions, they make different water designs, much like the fountains at the Bellagio in Vegas.

Now, I know what you are thinking. There is a BIG difference between Las Vegas and Lake Michigan. And I believe you. Which is why I prefaced this blog by saying it might be the worst blog ever. Because I'm telling you that Lake Michigan and the water fountains at the Bellagio are the same and then telling you that they are way different.

And I wish I had a video or even some photos that could illustrate for you what the hell I'm talking about but too bad (luckily?) for you, these are the only photos I got, all of which were taken like 2 seconds too late:

So yeah. Just like Vegas, right?

Fundraising Fun at Angelo's II.

2011-09-12T17:46:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my friends and family (and some other unexpecting folks) joined together and threw back a few drinks at a fundraiser I planned at my cousin's bar for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure.

Now, I'm not sure if I should say this or not, but I wasn't expecting to raise nearly what we did. I expected $250, maybe $300 at the most. But we way surpassed that. We raised $628.47! I mean, talk about being blown away.

And not only did we raise all of that money, but goodness did we have fun doing it!

Here are some singing ladies in pink:

We sang, and we hugged, and we even danced a little. And it was awesome in itself to see so many familiar faces coming out to support me and this great cause.

Here's the bartending team, again in pink:

Three from the left is the luckiest girl alive.

Key Words

2011-08-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Blogger has a new layout now and it gives you some stats on what keywords people use to end up at your page. So here we go, the top fivekey words people are searching this week on google.com in order to get to my blog are:

1. Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band

2. My Sister's Cleavage

3. Bob Seger

4. "Kari Shaffer"

5. Bob Seger and Silver Bullet Band

So there you have it. And I'm not even joking.

And I'm done now. Because there is nothing further to say about this.

Hurricane Emails.

2011-08-27T04:09:00.000-07:00

I’ve received 5 emails about the impending hurricane that is about to ravage the East Coast this weekend. Now, I will share the best one with you.

-----Original Message-----

From: Lindsay

Sent: Friday, August 26, 2011 2:27 PM

To: Morgan

Subject: RE:

I have "Come on Irene" stuck in my head...even though I don't know the words...and even though it’s really Eileen.

You? Are welcome.

Buyer's Remorse

2011-08-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

So, way back when, Zach and I instituted fun money. Fun money meant that each of us got a certain amount of money a month to spend on whatever we wanted. Eating out, new clothes (in my case), video games (in Zach's case). So after we suffered through fun money for like a year or so, we gave it up. The theory, if you choose to believe it, was that over the past year, we've trained ourselves to spend only that certain amount.

But I knew better from the beginning. The theory was bullshit.

I knew the theory was bullshit as soon as the words left Zach's lips, but did I say anything? Hell no! I was just as excited to pretend to believe in the theory too.

And tonight was a prime example that the theory is WRONG-O.

I had to take my car to get new front tires. Like, they were so bad that our contractor gave me pointers on how to get a good deal on tires.

HE IS RENOVATING THE BATHROOM. YET HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY TIRES.

Ironically, the pointers he gave me were the exact opposite of what I actually did. In fact, he said, "Don't go to Merchant's."

Where did I go? Merchant's.

I'm sorry, I don't know how to mount tires and balance them. So I can't buy them online and DIY myself some tires. Just like I can't DIY a bathroom. Which is why he is even here giving advice in the first place.

I'm getting off track here. Anyway.

I went to Merchant's where two tires cost $267.00. As if that wasn't bad enough.

I was forced to spend time shopping as I waited 1.5 hours to have my expensive tires put on my cheap ass car. So I went to Payless and I got two pairs of shoes. Two pairs of shoes I don't REALLY need. I really only needed one pair, but they were buy one get one half off! I couldn't pass it up!

Then, I went to Marshall's and I bought a variety of things I don't need: (1) Washcloths for the kitchen. (2) An orange vase for looks only. (3) A white glass deviled egg plate. Because, you know, the two I ALREADY HAVE aren't white.

So had fun money still been in effect, we would be down (1) One pair of black flats. (2) Washcloths for the kitchen. (3) An orange vase for looks only. (4) A white glass deviled egg plate.

And I'd probably feel a little bit better about myself.

Do you see where the theory was flawed? If not, I can point it out for you. The part that ASSUMED I HAVE ANY SELF-RESTRAINT AT ALL.

Wock and Woll

2011-08-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

We all know (well maybe you don’t, but the “I” of “we” knows) that I love Bob Seger.

Although many of my very favorite bands come from more of the contemporary rock/emo genres, I much prefer classic rock radio stations to … well anything else. Give me Tom Petty, Eric Clapton, The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, even The Beatles. But really, if you only gave me Bob Seger (perhaps with Bruce Springsteen’s looks), I’d be happy.

So now that we’ve established that, I also love this little blond haired boy. His name is Hunter, and as of about 20 days ago, he’s family.

Hunter is a fun kid. He’s not one of those jerk kids only a mom could love. He is smart and cute and he’s kind. And he’s got good jokes.

Here he is at the wedding, escorting his gram down the aisle. What a gentleman.

And Hunter is one step ahead than other little boys, and most big boys, even. He knows all the words to Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll and he’s not afraid to show it.

That's right. This kid karaokes.

Yes, a few days before taking the stage to sing Old Time Rock and Roll at Ashley and Steve’s wedding reception, he admitted that he “might get stage fright.” (**SWOON**) But he didn’t. He got right up there and sang his little heart out. It was the cutest thing ever. EVER.

“Still like that Old Time Wock and Woll. That kind of music just soos my soul.”

We don't live in California.

2011-08-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

Not even close. So really, Earth, wtf.

There was an earthquake today in Virginia. I've been reading article upon article and have yet to see anything about buildings hitting the ground, people being hurt, bridges collapsing. But it was still really freaking scary. And maybe you Californians thought no big deal, but when you are sitting in a meeting with some coworkers and the WHOLE BUILDING starts SHAKING and you look up and you see ceiling tile and it's BOWING and you live in Washington DC where there are terrorist attacks, it's SCARY.

My boss was mid-sentence. He said, "blah blah blah work stuff... And the building is... really shaking." And then he moved. He got up from the table and left the room. And we all followed. And I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and exited the building and immediately felt safe.

It wasn't until much later that I realized that if that building came down, we would probably be LESS safe outside.

But at any rate, I was shaking like a maniac and asking to go home. I was dramatic. But that's just me. I overreact.

We are lucky: everyone is okay, The National Cathedral was affected, but besides that the damage was minimal.

I mean, knowing what we know how, I may have overreacted a tad. But how was I supposed to know we would all be okay? In the heat of the moment, you can't tell. And I acted how I felt. Which was scared to death.

But that's just me.

Homesick

2011-08-14T15:58:00.000-07:00

I wrote this blog the weekend we came home from Pennsylvania for Ashley and Stevie's Wedding. I never posted it. But then it happened all over again on Sunday.

Let me first of all share with you a conversation Zach and I have every Sunday we drive home from Pennsylvania.

Me (in an incredibly whiny voice): I don’t wanna.

Zach (in his normal voice): Me either.

Me (again, whiny): I hate this.

Zach (again, normal): Me too.

When I say “I hate this” I mean I hate leaving our families, first and foremost. I also hate that the weekend is over because, really, we are losing a whole Sunday to a freaking car ride and piles of laundry. And sweeping up cat hair.

Here is how our weekends in Pennsylvania usually go: drive four and a half hours, blow in like we own the place, exhaust ourselves doing the things we wish we could do EVERY weekend (without the drive, of course) but we can’t so we try to fit it all into less than 48 hours, wake up on Sunday morning and drive another four and a half hours to get home at a decent hour so our house can be clean and we have something to wear to work on Monday.

Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s exhausting. It’s wonderfully, excitingly exhausting.

And no, we don’t do it every weekend. More like once a month or in the winter even less than that, but it’s getting old. Sundays are the day when Zach’s mom makes dinner for the family and invites everyone over. Sundays are the day my aunt, my mom, and my cousins sit around the pool and bullshit all afternoon. SUNDAYS ARE THE DAYS THE STEELERS PLAY. AND THE DAY LISSA DOES HER STEELER VOODOO DANCE. AND VIRGINIA CABLE COMPANIES DON’T LIKE THE STEELERS. So as you can see, there are a million other things I would rather be doing on SUNDAY than DRIVING TO VIRGINIA (or, more accurately in my case, RIDING).

So as you can see, sometimes I prefer just to stay in Virginia so I don’t have to leave Pennsylvania. And that makes me sad.

Four Generations in Wedding Photos. COMPLETE!

2011-08-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, here we go! Zach and I finished the photo wall this afternoon!

I got this idea from Young House Love, as I mentioned in my last post. If you look at their post, you can see that their plan was to tape newspaper sheets the same size as the photos to the wall to figure out placement.

Here's the thing - I do not (and will NEVER) have the patience for that. So Zach had a brilliant idea to use thumbtacks and yarn to make the an even row of 8x10s down the middle of the collage.

From there it was a free for all.

My method (unlike the YHL kiddos) required Spackle and paint. But no newspapers.

Without further ado, I give you, The Milton Hallway Full Monty.Forgive the photos. When the real estate listing said "lots of natural light," it lied.

This morning, I dug out the handkerchief John and Lissa gave me as a wedding gift almost two years ago:
Zach went to Michael's and bought me the perfect sized frame for it.

And after looking at these photos I realize that the hanky is a little off center. But you know what? I've already mentioned my lack of patience in this post so I am not going to retake them all. That's just me. The non-perfectionist.

I love this. Love love love love love.

SHE TOOK THE GUM.

2011-08-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

So on Friday night at Steve and Ashley's ceremony (before the bride walked down the path to her handsome groom awaiting), I visually inspected the groom and his best man (my husband).

Boutonnieres on straight? Check.
Suits wrinkle-free? Check. (Thank you Vic!)
Zach's suit cat hair free? Check. (Thank you Vic, again!)
No boogers? Check. (Okay, you got me. I didn't check their noses.)

Then I see Steve asking his Aunt Kathy for something to put his gum in. She pulled out a receipt or something from her purse and he put his in.

I looked at Zach and realized he was chewing gum too.

"Give me the gum," I said, sticking out my open hand, like a mother to a child who is about to go on stage at a Christmas pagaent or something.

Kathy says, "Take Steve's gum too."

Oh boy! I thought. I get to hold the gum.

So in my hand, I'm holding the gum. There are no garbage cans in sight. I hold the gum the entire ceremony long. But when it is over, a brilliant thought struck me.

"Hey, Vic!" I approach Zach's Aunt Vic. She's a quirky little lady who lives in Southern Virginia with no children of her own. (We are all her people.) I love Aunt Vic because she is fun (and funny) and she cooks tons of food (that she doesn't eat) and I love her because she loves us back so much. And it shows.

"I have something for the scrapbook! Pre-wedding gum. It's Zach and Steve's mixed together."

And, y'all, SHE TOOK THE GUM. FOR THE SCRAPBOOK. WITHOUT A QUESTION. WITHOUT EVEN THINKING.

I love this family.

Four Generations in Wedding Photos.

2011-08-08T16:17:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I talked about Steve and Ashley's wedding and I told you that I had all of these stories to tell. And I still do.

But there is something else that I've been working on. And it is kind of related to weddings. I've been thinking for like 3 whole minutes trying to decide what to name this post. I decided upon Four Generations in Wedding Photos, even though it is so much more than that.

Actually right now it's only three generations. But I threw in some extra photos so ignore that there are only three for now.

I got this idea from Young House Love. And I must admit that I love it a lot. A Hallway Full Monty. I mean, what's not to like?

So I thought I would collect old photos from our families dating back as far as we could and make a similar wall collage. I started collecting. Both photos and frames.

Zach's mom got me a bunch of frames at a flea market and the rest I bought at Michael's at 40% off with an additional 25% coupon. But I still need more.

I collected photos from my Aunt Dorothy, Zach's mom and dad, and my own mom and came up with about 16 or so photos, most of them from weddings past: I got two from my mom and dad's wedding, one from Zach's mom and dad's, two of Zach's maternal grandparents, two of Zach's paternal grandparents, one of my paternal grandparents, one of my paternal great grandparents, a few military photos and some other random family photos (i.e. one of my Guppy and Grandpap Clyde since there doesn't really seem to be any wedding photos of them).

And it's not hung or anything yet, but I need to share these photos with you because I love them a lot.

I love them as much as the butter churner I inherited from my Aunt Dee this weekend when I was home. I love them as much as my old bottle/jar collection. I love them as much as Grandma Ruth's china. I love them as much as stemless wine glasses. I love them as much as the Golden Girls. I love them. I love them. I love them.

So without further ado, I give you the wedding (and other important family photos) collage:

Ah I can't take it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From the top left: My dad's Army photo, my mom and dad on their wedding night sitting on the steps of my Grandma Guppy's house, Zach's Grandpa Ernie in his military garb. Row two: Zach's Grandma Agnes in a field somewhere (I LOVE THIS ONE), Zach's grandparents on their wedding day, my Grandma Guppy and Grandpap Clyde on a cruise somewhere, Zach's other grandparents on their wedding day, Ernie and Ruth again on their wedding day, Zach's parents the day they got married. Bottom: my paternal grandparents on their wedding day, my dad's family when my dad was just a baby, my great grandparents on their wedding day and finally Zach's grandma Agnes again on her wedding day.I love this so much I could die.

And I'm not done yet. I have 3 or 4 more photos to frame from the family then I need to pick a few from our wedding photos to finish 'er off.

Final unveiling estimated for this weekend with a few surprises to be thrown in. Get excited.

Have any of you done photo collages before? Themed or not? How did they turn out?

The Tale of a Milton Wedding

2011-08-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we celebrated Zach's brother's wedding to a lovely lady named Ashley.

They had a beautiful outdoor ceremony in South Park. Zach's brother and sister were wedding party members, Zach filling the Best Man role and Beth filling as Maid of Honor. We were lucky it didn't rain that night and I'm not even going to complain about the heat.
They ceremony was beautiful, the vows were sweet, and they did a very touching sand ceremony with Ashley's son Hunter.

The Milton's are just as happy to add another family member as I am to add another sister. And as we speak, they are off honeymooning in the Poconos, hopefully makin' babies or something.

Lord knows their honeymoon suite certainly sets the mood. I swear, the brochure Ashley showed me was pretty much soft-core porn.

But that's another story for another time.

Congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Milton. May you have decades and centuries of happiness.

And in case you get confused, here are the NEW Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Milton.
(The two in the middle.)

And here are the ~~OLD~~ er, more well-seasoned and wise Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Milton:

Tune in more this week for more posts about the weekend. I have plenty of photos that facebook is refusing to upload and more stories to tell. One about chewed up gum. One about a Jersey Shore party (not entirely wedding related). One about winning $240. And I suppose I can tell you about the youngest karaoke-er in history and his awesome rendition of Old Time Rock n Roll.

Two really awesome things we got to experience in NYC: foursquare and gay marriage: Part 2

2011-07-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Part 2: The first day same-sex marriage was legal in New York: July 24, 2011.

Zach and I were on the subway on our way to Chinatown to meet up with his friend. The subways were a little off because it was the weekend and they were probably doing work or something. So they told us to get off at Brooklyn Bridge, even though that wasn't where we wanted to get off.

Zach said that he wanted to transfer trains at the Bridge to get closer to Chinatown. I told him I wanted to see the Bridge. Which was kind of a lie. Because I really didn't care if we saw the Bridge or not, I just REALLY didn't want to stand underground in the subway terminals in the sweltering heat.

And I ain't kidding when I say sweltering.

So we exited at Brooklyn Bridge. We came out of the station and didn't see a bridge. I shrugged it off, hoping Zach wouldn't dwell too much on the fact that I kind of told a fib.

He didn't.

So we began walking. And not too far along in our trip, we saw this:
And I said, "I wonder what the heck is going on."

And then we saw this:
And if this picture could talk, it would sing "Going to the Chapel" to you.

And then we put two and two together when we saw this guy:
He was screaming incredibly derogatory things about gay people, how animals have more morals, how there is a lake of fire and that all gay people will go there, how they will all get STDs and HIV and die.

Seriously. I'm not joking.

Zach's blood was boiling. "I guess he's never heard of [some type of] monkey [which has gay tendencies]." (That would be more powerful if I remember what kind of monkey it was). "He really needs to read the Bible again."

Me: Zach, quit staring.

Zach: No, he's a jackass.

Me: Touche.

But never mind that guy.

Then, there were people like this guy:
Who was just there for support and help. I liked this guy.

At any rate, I just feel incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon this street at this time on this day. It was a really moving experience to see all different kinds of people out there supporting gay marriage. And only two who didn't. My heart felt full. My eyes felt a little wet. And I admit, it could have been the sweat.But it wasn't.

Two really awesome things we got to experience in NYC: foursquare and gay marriage: Part 1

2011-07-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

Part 1: Foursquare

Zach and I try to go to NYC at least once a year. It's usually over a long weekend. We jam-pack everything we can into the two days we are there. We completely and utterly exhaust ourselves. Then, we come home.

This past weekend was a special trip to New York because Zach's good friend Ricky is interning at foursquare this summer. On Friday night (after we laid around the hotel in our underwear and watched Judge Judy for a few hours), we met Ricky at the foursquare Manhattan office to "check it out."

It really couldn't have been cooler.

For those of you who don't know, foursquare is a type of social networking site where you "check-in" to places you are. It's similar to Facebook Places, but actually, I learned this weekend that it is a lot cooler than that.

You get points for certain criteria you meet during your check-in (for example, if it is your first check-in to a park, or if you are the first of your friends to check-in) and some places have "specials" where if you check-in there, you get some kind of deal. For example, we went to this kick-ass Mexican restaurant in New York. We went because Ricky figured out that if we check-in, margaritas are buy one get one free.

And they were good margaritas.

And if that's not reason enough for you to download foursquare immediately, Zach and I got a tour of the foursquare office and the place is amazing. Here are some of the things that make it awesome:

Free beer in the fridge. You can start drinking after 5.
Catered lunches on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Free cereal in the kitchen.
Open floor plan that seems to encourage a lot of interaction between employees.
You can wear whatever you want to work.
They have a "kitchen wish list" where employees can add whatever they want to the list and either their requests are answered (or in the case of facetious requests like kegs and swim up bars - kindly declined).
They have a gumball machine full of foursquare buttons. And you get a handful for a quarter.
A Keurig coffee maker.

They also have a wall full of articles and notes from clients to Dennis, the guy who founded foursquare. We were hanging out by the elevator waiting to leave and after reading the articles I saw a familiar face. Good ol' Dennis was waiting for the same 6:30 elevator on a Friday night.

And I shook the hand of the guy who founded foursquare!

I thought foursquare was cool then, but I think it is even cooler now that it got me free margaritas.

Even if the meal for the rest of the dinner was upwards of $120. Ooops.

Fountains.

2011-07-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

Today, the day we are leaving New York, the weather is beautiful. In fact, I haven't sweated at all yet. And the A/C is on full blast on our bus. It's actually kind of cold.

But I decided that I am not going to complain about being cold AT LEAST until Tuesday.

And I learned something about New York City. For those of you raised with woods and yards and swimming pools and cousins and parents who let you roam freely, you're about to learn something too.

When New Yorkers get hot (and believe me, they WERE), they dress their children in their swimsuits and they swim in public fountains.This is just one of the many times I was reminded while in New York that it is a whole nother world up there. And I loved every minute of it.

Bus Trips Make Me Crazy.

2011-07-22T08:03:00.001-07:00

We made it to the bus on time. Which is something we Zach can't say for every time he's had a MegaBus to catch.

Have you noticed that it is about 467 degrees outside? We certainly did. And here I sit on this bus on my way to New York coated in a inch or so of dried sweat on top of smeared make-up.

Whoever thought it was a good idea to put the Nation's Capital on a swamp was stupid. I know he probably did other awesome things in his lifetime, but come on now. We own 3.79 milion square miles of land in 2011. I realize that is significantly more than we did when we picked Washington DC but, hey, women can vote now and Americans are becoming increasing accepting to all religions so why couldn't we move the capital to, say, Santa Barbara? Or Denver? Hmm?

I sound kind of delirious, I guess. Well, I guess I am.

My husband dreamed (I thought it was drempt? But that ones gets the red squiggly line telling me it's not a word) all night last night that he was a pair of jeans in the dryer. I mean rolling over and over and over. I slept for twenty minutes at a time.

But anyway, I digress. Actually, I'm not quite ready to digress yet.

Can I tell you what I saw as we were leaving DC? There is this place (restaurant?) that advertises that it has the best smoked bar-be-que in DC. It was on New York Avenue and it was attached to a gas station next to a Days Inn.

Hiking Photos - Great Falls

2011-07-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, Lindsay, Zach and I hiked the Billy Goat trail at Great Falls.

And here's what I've decided about the outdoors: As long as I get to go home after sweating my ass off all day in the heat and shower and sleep in an air conditioned room, count me in. But don't expect me to then set up a tent and park my sweaty ass in it until morning.

As we ate lunch perched on some boulders at the top of a mountain, we discussed our upbringings and why Lindsay LOVES camping and why I, well, would rather chew my arm off.

And what we decided was that while Little Lindsay was learning how to set up a tent, start a fire, and sleep on the ground, Little Morgan was learning the difference between ocean front and ocean view. (And there is a big difference, people.)

But anyway, I digress. I can agree that nature is beautiful. And that hiking is fun.

Here are some photos of the past two weekends we spent at Great Falls:

Like I said, take me there for the day, but as soon as the sun passes over head, I'm getting the hell out of dodge. Like my dad always told me: If it's not better than home, don't go.

Lindsay argues camping is better than home. But she won't ever convince me that sleeping on the ground surrounded by plastic to hold the heat in is better than sleeping in my bed with a fan and air conditioning. Not no way. Not no how.

Speaking of XBox 360s...

2011-07-14T03:39:00.001-07:00

I have a story to tell that I need to tell right away before I fall in love with the XBox 360 this weekend when Zach sets it up so I can watch The Real Housewives... (Do you think he might get kicked out of some man club for allowing his wife to use the xBox - not to play shooting games with weird headphones and a mouthpiece while eating doritos, drinking beer, and farting - but to drink coffee (or wine - depending on the time of day), paint her nails, and take in the latest Real Housewives of New Jersey? - I'm thinking yes.)

Anyway, back when Zach was a poor college kid, he saved some money to buy a bike. Just your run-of-the-mill $250 bike from WalMart. $250 is A LOT of money. Especially when you are a college kid.

And even before we were married, I nagged, "Are you SURE you are going to use this bike? It's a lot of money."

"Yes, yes, I AM!"

So the bike went home with us in the car. And when we got home, Zach rode it to the end of the street and back. And that was the first and last time that bike felt the warmth of Zach's bottom on the seat.

Fast forward years later, the bike takes up most of our storage unit in our first apartment. The next year, it sits in the corner of our balcony for a year. The tires go flat. I think sometimes I can hear it crying through our window.

We move again. Now, the bike lives under the stairs in our laundry room.

By now you are probably asking, "Why didn't you just get rid of it?"

And that, my friends, is a GREAT QUESTION. One I've asked 7,934 times. Unfortunately, it was unanswerable.

UNTIL ONE MAGICAL DAY. I look out the window of our computer room to see Zach, my husband, holding the bike on it's side and spinning the wheels. My eyes light up. My excitement level is at a 10.

Zach comes in the house and I say "Are you going for a bike ride!??!?!!"

"No." (Excitement goes from 10 to 9.) "I sold it." (Still at a 9.)

"YOU DID!?!?! How much did you sell it for?!"

"Well, actually, I traded it for an xBox 360."

Excitement level? Plummets.

Okay, so this was like 4 months ago. Until this weekend when I am going to introduce Mr. xBox to the Housewives, that thing has been collecting dust in the computer room. When I complained about it, Zach tells me that at least it takes up less space than a bike.

Touche. I guess.

We are getting rid of our cable this weekend. And that is freaking terrifying.

2011-07-14T03:20:00.000-07:00

So our one-year anniversary with Cox Communications (Your provider in the digital age) has come to an end and now our cable/internet bill is TWO. HUNDRED. DOLLARS. A. MONTH!

Well $30 of that is the balance from the last bill I didn't pay because who really looks at the bills anyway? I just paid what I normally do, plus $25 dollars. BUT LAST MONTH THAT WASN'T ENOUGH.

It's really neither here nor there whose fault this is (*ahem* ZachneedsHDFORNOREASON-HEDOESN'TEVENWATCHTV *ahem* ZachorderedHBOtowatchoneshowTHATHASNOWTURNEDINTO"WECAN'TGETRIDOFHBO-BECAUSEILIKEALLOFTHESHOWS." *AHEM*

But anyway, I've easily convinced him that $200 is way too much to spend on television.

And listen here, People. My husband has a plan.

It has something to do with getting some sort of converter cord for the xBox 360 and then getting Hulu and NetFlix subscriptions. He tells me this will cost like $60 for the cord thing and then $18 a month for the subscriptions. Blah blah blah. It's significantly cheaper.

And then I say, "Can I watch the Real Housewives?"

And he says, "Yes."

And I say, "House Hunters? My First Place?"

And he says, "Yes and yes."

And really those are the only shows I watch in the summer time. Check with us again in the winter to see how this really all works out for us.

Do any of you not have cable? I'm really kind of terrified to make this switch but I figure that if we can save like $70 a month, maybe Zach will let me get us a cleaning lady.

$70 a month probably won't cover all of it, but don't tell him that. I've been working on this for months now. And if you are judging, my friend Meghann sums it up perfectly here. So quit judging.

All it takes is one call to Meghann for ol' Darcy's phone number...

On Finding a New Gym.

2011-07-11T03:38:00.000-07:00

This post is kind of related to this post entitled On Quitting the Gym.

My fitness level, even though Jillian Michaels workouts are really quite awesome, has dramatically decreased since I quit the gym at the end of April. If I had a scale I would weigh myself, but needless to say that since the scale used to be strategically placed outside of the shower exactly where Zach would blindly exit all relaxed and wet, the scale is no longer in working form.

But to be honest, I'm surprised Zach is in working form. And that he didn't hurl the scale against the wall ever.

But anyway, back to this gym business. Okay, I'm about to paint myself in kind of a prissy light. But here we go anyway. These are the requirements I have for a gym:

A good class schedule. This means decent classes at 6AM and 6PM (which are my prime hours).
TOWEL SERVICE. This is important, People. I need towels (1.) So I can wipe my sweaty self off when my workout is complete and (2.) So I can steal them for home use when we've run out of rags.
My own TV on my workout machine. Not one I need to tune into 50 yards away. I'm talking it's just me and the TV.
A locker room that doesn't smell like cat piss.
And if the lockers have those little keypads on them so I don't have to bring my own lock, bonus points.
Working equipment.
ENOUGH EQUIPMENT.
A separate space for the meatheads. (Yesterday I checked out Gold's Gym and YUCK! Big men stuffed into little tank tops that smell (or at least I assume they do) work out three yards away. I say we put all weights over 10 pounds on their own floor. Or maybe in their own separate gym would be even better.
I would like for it to be less than 3 miles from my house.
Also a good color scheme is nice. Gold's Gym = VERY VERY BAD.
Individual wipes to wipe down the machines when complete with workout.

I quit my gym in April that met most of these but was missing an important one: #9. Since leaving, I've experienced two other gyms: Lee District Rec Center (which is okay, but too many kids and not enough equipment. Plus even though it's like 1.5 miles from our house, if traffic is backed up you might as well forget it.) and Gold's Gym yesterday which SUCKED. It smelled bad. And really that's all the reason I need.

I want my gym back. Actually, I want my gym to relocate itself to Kingstowne immediately. So that I can go back to getting my fitness on.

My husband bought me my blog in paper form.

2011-07-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

What a great (early) second anniversary gift I got from my husband! I've been re-reading my blog and all the memories that go with it in the form of a 436 page book.

I know, right?

I flipped through and took some photos of the pages to share. Until I looked through this book I had forgotten about some really fun things that have happened to us over the last two years!

Enjoy!

Some of our wedding photos (I desperately wish I would have started this blog BEFORE our wedding!):
Bruce Springsteen at Verizon Center on November 3, 2009 (I bought two extra pairs of tickets for this concert in hopes of making some money off of them. I didn't.):

Visiting Brenda in Denver and eating at Tee & Cakes!:

Bar Bingo!
Beth's GINORMOUS Christmas underwear (2009!):

Photos taken from the balcony of our second apartment in the winter time:

Getting stuck in La Vale Maryland with Lindsay on my way home for a funeral in 2010:

And an even bigger snow here in DC a month or so later!

Lindsay's Birthday Beer!

Our new home makeover! There were many blogs about that.

When Fuzz came to live with us. (But then he left.)

When I photographed Wrinkles for my photography class. He's quite the cheeser, huh?

The night Lindsay met Joan.

Our First Wedding Anniversary Celebration in Southern VA! (Yes - Zach is eating one of Thomas Jefferson's squash. Right out of the garden. In other news, I can't wear the jumper I have on in the lower photo - either it shrunk up or I am getting more shy in my old age.)

Caroline and Riley at Christmas time! This was Riley's first Christmas.

Hanging out in Mon City with my peeps. This was one of those nights Ry would say that the "planets aligned" and we actually had a great time at Hitches.

When my Mother-in-Law bought me a Monongahela tee-shirt. WHICH I STILL WEAR. to bed.
I just randomly went through and took photos of some of the pages. I am in love with this book and I am in love with my number one beeb.

Best. Gift. Ever.

A Sign of the Times

2011-07-04T13:38:00.000-07:00

Last weekend when we were home for Ashley's bridal shower, we spent Sunday evening going through old photos and keepsakes of Zach's family on his back porch. We laughed a lot and Cindy cried a little.

I came across this little gem - a postcard from Zach's mom (at 10 years old) to her parents while she was ON A TRIP TO THE LARGEST CIGARETTE FACTORY IN THE WORLD.
The words she wrote, as you can see below, read:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Hi, right now I'm at the Winston Salem Place. Having Fun. Love, Cindy

Awesome.

Dear Old Maine, I'm Coming Back.

2011-07-03T16:58:00.001-07:00

I bought this at a flea market along the highway in Stockton Springs, Maine.

This is how the conversation went as I flipped through what I thought were ads of some sort.

Flea Market Guy (talking to me): All of the sheet music is 50% off.
Me: Okay. I think I'll take this one, then.
Flea Market Guy: Oh, that's a rare one. Do you collect sheet music from Maine?
Me: Um, no.

In fact, if I was being brutally honest, I would have told him that I didn't even know such a thing existed. But I couldn't resist this one entitled "Dear Old Maine, I'm Coming Back" by MILTON Charles Bennett.
I love it so much, I already went to Michael's and bought a pretty white frame for it.

And who knows? Maybe I'll start collecting Maine sheet music. Lord knows I've become quite the bottle lady.

Lighthouses Part 1

2011-07-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

One of the things Zach and I were really looking forward to during our trip to Maine was seeing lighthouses.

I've always had a thing for lighthouses. I'm not sure what it is because in general they scare the bejeezus out of me. I mean, remember Atlantic City? And there was a time pre-Two Beebs when I was in St. Augustine Florida with my sister and my friend Brenda and I made it to the top of the lighthouse (I know, right!) but I didn't make it outside onto the platform.

No siree, Bob. No way in hell.

But Maine lighthouses, at least the two we saw, are very different. They are no higher than a 3 story house.

The first one we visited was really close Matt and Kara's house. But we couldn't climb to the top of that one because someone still lived there. Can you believe that?I mean, how cool would it be to LIVE in a LIGHTHOUSE!? Especially if you weren't scared to climb all the way to the top?

Anyway, we were supposed to pay $3 or $4 a person to enter the park. It was on the honor system, you were just supposed to drop your money in a box on your way in. Well, we were only partly honorable. Because we only paid part of our dues. But they are lucky they get you going in because had we known we wouldn't be allowed in the lighthouse we probably wouldn't have paid at all.

Hell, we probably wouldn't have went at all.

But I digress. The lighthouse was nice and Miss Caroline had a blast loading up ~~her~~ her Pap's pockets with rocks from the driveway.And even though we weren't supposed to take anything and leave everything the way we found it, but it's utterly impossible to deny her. And if all she's asking for is rocks, by all means we will give her all the rocks in the world.

Camden, Maine

2011-07-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

Our first full day here in Maine was the worst weather-wise so far, but we didn't let that slow us down!

Matt took the day off work and we went to Camden for the afternoon.

Camden is a picturesque little town, known for all of the old ships that are docked in the harbor. Boutique shops line the streets. It looks like something out of a movie. Even when the fog is heavy and there are specks of water falling from the sky.

Sounds more like a horror movie, doesn't it?

Well it's not at all. It's just really freaking cute. That's all.

Here are the photos I took there.

Yesterday we hiked.

2011-07-01T04:28:00.000-07:00

And I know you all think I'm not an outdoorsy person, and yes, there may have been some complaining towards the end (but in my defense we were going downhill (which I hate) and I wasn't sure we were going the right way.

Oh and I was ready to eat my arm off.)

But anyway, it felt pretty good as an inexperienced, self-proclaimed camping-hater to make it to the top of Gorham Mountain at the Acadia National Forest yesterday with my husband.

So good in fact, that I bared my teeth.

And then the decent began. Which I didn't too much enjoy.

But that is behind us now.

Butt Crack at Breakfast.

2011-06-30T05:36:00.000-07:00

Maine is known for it's scenic views - whether it be the mountains or the ocean or the beach or the boats. And we've seen some really great ones since Tuesday night when we got here.

But we also saw one that was much more comedic than breathtaking.

Well, it was also breathtaking, I guess.

Picture this: A couple of out of towners and their in-towner family enter into a family restaurant where presumably, everybody knows your name. But this place is nothing like Cheers. It's more like Hills Family Restaurant in Mon City if you've ever been. Except it's like a third of the size. We give our number (6 plus one baby) to the hostess/waitress/cook? when the locals sitting at the breakfast bar chime in.

"So six and a half?"

Is that joke like worn through the floor or what?

But we giggle and oblige the, ahem, friendly man in overalls with a beard and a will to talk.

"Do you need a booster?" When Kara says we need a booster, he doesn't get off his bar stool to get her one, he just tells here where they are.

Matt whispers, "Does that guy work here or is he just crazy?" Just crazy.

We take our seats at a table close to the breakfast bar. Which, every table in the place is close to the breakfast bar. I look around after I take my seat and notice that the guy at the breakfast bar's friend's butt crack IS HANGING OUT OF HIS CUT OFF SHORTS BY A GOOD 5 INCHES.

I start laughing hysterically. One by one, we all do. I say I need to take a photo. For you guys. My loyal blog readers. Because I'm sure you were all anticipating BUTT CRACK photos in a blog about butt crack.

But, alas, I've let you down. There are no butt crack photos to share. I wasn't sure I could sneak it.

But I can say this: Just Barb's in Stockton Springs, while they may not be known for their "views," has AWESOME blueberry pancakes.

Lesa and Sean's Wedding!

2011-06-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we were in Pennsylvania for the weekend for a Friend-of-the-Family's wedding. Which family you ask?

Well, mostly Zach's. But I met Lesa through my sister a million years ago.

My sister and Lesa used to be good friends A LONG time ago. Like 20 (million) years or so.

That's a fifth of a (million) century(ies), by the way.

At any rate, Lesa and my sister were friends when I was just a wee child. Lesa used to come over to our house and all I can remember about her is that she used to tickle me all the time. Oh, and that she was the only friend of my sister (and my sister included) that ever gave me any attention.

I'm talking for TWENTY YEARS. She's the only friend of my sister's ever that paid me attention until like a year or two ago.

But more recently and more relevantly, Lesa and Zach's sister Beth are BFF and Beth was the Maid of Honor in the wedding.

Beth gave an amazing speech about how she is so lucky to have had the same best friend for so long. She said it much better than that though. It was touching.

I felt fuzzy.

Anyway - I just want to share with you this one photo of the wedding:
This is when Beth was giving her speech about how much she loves Lesa and her new husband Sean.

How neat is that?

Oh okay. Two more:
I mean COME ON. Is that a photo or is that a photo? All of the Milton girls' boys. Actin' silly.

And this one:
AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA. Gets me everytime.

I really don't have a good photo of the bride and groom, but here is this one:

So anyway, we were excited to celebrate this past weekend with Lesa and her new husband Sean. Thank you for the invite, the food, the drinks, and the fun. We had so much fun and we love you both. Even though I've never actually spoken to Sean, it doesn't quite matter because we still love you both.

We just can't help ourselves.

Gramma's China

2011-06-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

So, remember my thing? Well it came!

We put it in the living room and put some photo frames on top of it. And that was that. UNTIL!

I had this conversation with my mother-in-law:

MIL: So what are you going to put inside of it?
Me: Um. Nothing. Until I inherit some china, I guess!
MIL: Well, I have Gramma's. You can have it if you want it.
Me: Heck yes!

So, I am proud and excited to announce that we, Morgan and Zach, have inherited Gramma Ruth's china set. This past weekend we went home to PA and brought home my new pride and joy in the form of million year old glassware.

I couldn't be happier.

Here are some photos:
I am in love.

The label reads "Superior Hall Quality Dinnerware."And my favorite:
So I cleaned it all before I even unloaded my suitcase (well, actually, my suitcase still isn't 100% unpacked... so using that to prove how much I love my china is kind of unfair but whatevs) and then I loaded it into my thing.

Please ignore the terrible photos. The lighting in our living room kind of sucks.

And with the doors open:
Doors closed:

I am just so happy I could cry. I've already bid on more on eBay.

Brownie Leader Year 1? Done. And an email.

2011-06-14T03:24:00.000-07:00

Girl Scouts is officially over until school starts back up in the Fall. Next year, I will be a Brownie Leader again. I am kind of excited, but also kind of nervous.

Last year we had 4 girls join our troop from Daisies. (Daisies are K-1 and Brownies are 2-3.) That made our troop a total of 12 girls. Throughout the year, 4 more joined so we had 16 girls. All. Under. The. Age. Of. Nine.

Do you know how hard it is to keep the attention of 16 girls at one time? It's hard. I can't even think of a good analogy for that. Which probably makes me a bad blogger but it could also be because there ISN'T an analogy out there that properly describes the impossibility of keeping the attention of 16 girls at one time. Just sayin'.

Well this year we had 8 of our Brownies move up to Juniors leaving us with 8 Brownies left. And I would be understating if I told you only 4 Daisies were going to be Brownies this year. I would be understating it by 10 Daisies.

That's right. Add it up. Next year I will be the Brownie leader of a troop of TWENTY TWO girls.

Things that would make this easier:

Another Brownie troop to take half
Having kids of my own to know what to do when one girl tells another one she hates her
Another Brownie troop to take half

Well none of those are happening. So, with the help of a few good women, my troop will have 22 sweet, young girls in it. And it will be challenging. And it will probably be painful at times.

But if it was anything like this year, I will learn just as much from these girls as they learn from me. I will continued to be surprised (in a good way!) by the funny things they say and do. And really, the mutual learning is really what this is all about. It's about making friends and doing new things and empowering young girls.

And even though sometimes I'll come home from meetings and Zach will say "How was your meeting?" And I'll say, "Terrible." That's really not the truth. It's really not terrible at all. And really, if it was terrible, it would be up to ME to make it better.

I am the "leader" after all.

But what I've learned is that I will plan in advance this year. I will be more organized. And we will FOR SURE break into groups EVERY MEETING.

So here's to a summer of planning field trips and try-its and begging the Church for a bigger room.

Oh and this has nothing to do with next year and I never toot my own horn but I just have to share this email with you because (1) It's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me and (2) I was completely shocked. Probably more shocked than you are about to be. One of my Brownie-turned-Junior's mom's wrote me this email (entitled "Thank You") after our awards ceremony on Sunday evening:

ahem...

"Morgan,

Thank you for being such an incredible brownie leader for XXXX and the girls. As I watched the ceremony tonight, I was reminded that this is one of the few family and value oriented programs available. The leaders, like yourself, are the kind of people that I want my child to grow up and become. I cant tell you how much I appreciate the time you spent with my child. Take care of yourself, I hope to see you again.

Thanks for everything."

I know, right?

More Honor Flight Photos

2011-06-10T20:23:00.001-07:00

I told the Honor Flight story yesterday but I have 28 photos on my iPhone and some are better than others but I wanted to share them all. So here are some of them.

Sorry, I just really don't have the patience for individual photo uploads on Blogger.
Oh I forgot to mention yesterday (but you may have caught it in my photos) that there were five or so active military members at the gate. It was the sweetest thing ever seeing them shake the hands of the WWII Veterans and thanking them and the WWII Veterans saying "No, thank YOU."

Honor Flight

2011-06-09T17:10:00.001-07:00

A few days ago a friend of mine from work invited me to go with her to Reagan Washington National Airport to greet a flight of WWII Veterans coming to DC to see the World War II Memorial for the first time. It sounded like a really great experience so I jumped right on it.

Have you ever heard of the Honor Flight program? I didn't either, before a few days ago. It's a non-profit that raises money to fund the transportation of WWII Vets from wherever they are to DC so that they can see the WWII Memorial before they die.

You should donate all of your money to them immediately. I mean, like, all of it.

The program is amazing. The Veterans are amazing. The supporters are amazing. Everything about the whole experience is amazing.

So we went to the airport this morning at around 8:15. We got gate passes (did you know they did that? Like - you can get a pass and go through security and wait at the gate? Well they probably don't do it for everyone, but they do for Honor Flight.)

So we got our gate passes and hung out at the gate with the other supporters. We met this woman and her husband:
They were from Wisconsin (which is where the flight was coming in from) and their brother-in-law, Sully, was on the flight. The lady was SO proud of her brother-in-law. She talked about how he worked until last year driving trucks until his family took his license away. She couldn't wait to see him.

Here she is watching the flight coming in:
So when the flight came in, Firetrucks did an overhead spray of the airplane:
Once the plane got to the gate, we waited another 15 minutes (because these guys are no longer spring chicken.)

Here is the first Veteran off the plane:
He was shocked at what he faced when he got off the plane.

Then came this guy, who had more of a rockstar outlook on the whole thing. But was still just as shocked:

Here's Sully, the truck driver himself:
Sully was emotional. So was his sister-in-law:
Study that photo. For real. Those two people love each other.

So those are the best iPhone photos I could take. I laughed and I cried. And I was seriously emotionally exhausted after only 20 minutes. I can't IMAGINE how those men were feeling. But I could see it in their eyes. And it resonated right through my SOUL.

This experience is open to everyone and anyone in the DC area. And there is really no excuse at all not to be a part of it.

I can't wait to do it again.

My First Ever 5k.

2011-06-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

I finished my first ever 5k. And I lived to blog about it.

So the week leading up to my first ever 5k I was a mess. I had that “OH NO!” moment that Brian Regan (and most unorganized children have) described in his comedic skit about science fairs. (You know – when your head bounces off the pillow the morning something big is due? And you say to yourself, “Oh no! That’s TODAY!” Well if you were lucky you were the kid in Brian’s skit with the parents who did shit for you so you weren’t forced to present “Cup of Dirt” to your classmates because, you know, it’s a CUP with DIRT IN IT.)

Unfortunately for me, though, I felt a lot like “Cup of Dirt” kid on Monday morning.

I went to Zach’s work gym on Monday (with him in tow) and began running.

But it wasn’t good.

In fact, it was really bad. I went three miles total that day, but unfortunately I walked a lot of it.

So on Tuesday, I did what any reasonable person would do.

I cried. A LOT. And I told Zach that I hated myself. (Mom – don’t get concerned. I feel this way about once a month. I blame birth control. So if your son-in-law would just agree to impregnate me I would feel much better. Then again, I hear pregnancy brings a whole new SLEW of things that make you feel fat and ugly and also you have a child in the end which probably only makes you feel MORE fat and ugly SO THEREFORE, ACTUALLY, I’M GOOD WITH ONLY FEELING THAT WAY ONCE A MONTH.)

On Wednesday Zach made me go to the gym with him at 7:30 at night. Which is really out of the norm for me. And I had an epiphany. I’m really not THAT fat and ugly at all. My problem is that I can’t run 6 miles an hour. Once I figured that out, I went two whole miles unfazed.

Okay, that’s a lie. I was fazed. VERY FAZED. But it was doable.

Thursday I ran after work outside in Old Town, which really, is a great place to run because (a) It’s flat and (b) You can run along the river one way and then on your way home you can change streets and look at houses (which is one of my favorite things to do!). Oh and there is shade! Which is more than I can say about the streets of DC where this 5k was being held on Saturday. So anyway, I went three miles and it was really hard, kind of like Tuesday, but I did it and I lived to tell the tale. (But I did take a short block or two break.) Same on Friday only 2 miles this time.

And now I am sore and THE RACE IS TOMORROW.

Friday night I barely sleep because I am so nervous that (a) my alarm clock won’t go off or (b) I won’t be able to do it and everyone will laugh.

Saturday I get up earlier than the alarm (see (a) above) and make a playlist for the race. Here is the list, in case you are interested. These songs rock:

a. Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind

b. The Taste of Ink – The Used

c. You Wreck Me – Tom Petty

d. Straw Dog – Something Corporate

e. Stay Gone – The Get Up Kids

f. Spinning – Jack’s Mannequin

g. Soldier in the Army – Steel Train

h. Why I Am – Dave Matthews Band

i. Calling All Skeletons – Alkaline Trio

j. Born in the USA – Bruce Springsteen

k. Benson Hedges – fun.

l. Let It Go – The Clarks

I also have a cup of coffee but I forget to eat breakfast. Which turns out to be fine since my husband has A WHOLE BOX OF GRANOLA BARS IN HIS CAR. Since I take his car, I eat one. Okay, I eat two.

I get to the race early and mentally prepare. Actually I mentally exhaust myself and my heart is beating out of my chest before I even start running.

The entire race is a blur. I don't remember much of anything other than I had AN AWESOME PLAYLIST and I want to kick over every stroller I see in my way. (So much for those kids I was talking about having - I mean really? Who WALKS a RUN with a STROLLER? Bitches. That's who.)

Anyway, I cross the finish line.

I stop running almost immediately. I'M NOT DEAD! I walk to the metro and go home.

I shower and I am happy.

The end.

Today we undid stuff that was already done. And I got shocked.

2011-06-05T17:50:00.000-07:00

So in my last home improvement update, I told you that we bought new white outlets and Zach's dad showed me how to change them myself. Well, after doing only one that day, I got bored and quit. I said I would do one every day until they were done.

Well, that never happened either. Until today, I couldn't even remember where the box of new outlets were.

So we turned off the power to the upstairs floor and went to work. Zach was trying to fix the outlet his dad changed because it used to be switched and now it isn't. Long story short, it no longer works at all and neither does one of the other outlets in the computer room (that used to work) and two of the ones on the shared wall in the guest bedroom.

And when we were "testing" the non-working outlet, I touched it like a complete moron and shocked myself, screamed, and quit working all together.

All in all, we had negative-productivity today and I cried.

But our outlets are white, and that's all that matters.

Okay, that's not all that matters. What matters is they work. And they don't.

Stay tuned over the next 10 years or so as this saga will continue, I'm sure...

Pittsburghese

2011-06-02T17:01:00.000-07:00

I asked for a gumband today at work and got laughed at. So I wrote this blog.

As I've mentioned before, moving to Virginia has single-handedly made me realize that Myron Cope wasn't the only one in Pittsburgh who talked funny.

And I'm not even only talking about myself. I'm pretty sure my case of Pittsburghese is mild in comparison to others. But it's still there.

For example, when we were moving into our first apartment, Zach's sister was here to help. The first time she met Lindsay, she said something in her best Pittsburghese (including use of the word "Yinz" at least 62 times and "n'at" about 7) and after Beth left, Lindsay whispered to me "Does she really talk like that?"

"Like what?" was my natural reaction.

And another time, I was in Monongahela (my hometown) and Lindsay (who is from Michigan) was with me. Somehow, the conversation came up that we (Southwestern Pennsylvanians) don't enunciate the following words properly: pool, pull, and pole.

Go ahead. If you are a Southwestern Pennsylvanian, repeat after me.

Let me get in on that football pool.
That kid on A Christmas Story stuck his tongue to the flag pole.
Let's go dahntahn to the tractor pull.

Pool, pole, pull. All the same, right? RIGHT?

To top it all off, my iPhone does not recognize the following COMMON words: jagoff, nebby, or nebnose. And really? That is a problem.

And can I just say one more thing? When I was really young, I met a 3rd or 4th cousin (or something like that) and his name was Kyle. I spent like 2 years of my life thinking his name was Cow.

I'm not even kidding.

On Quitting the Gym.

2011-05-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a whole month since I've quit the gym. In that time, I've managed to:

Buy like 5 workout DVDs and weights.
Sleep in until at least 6AM daily.
Gain 3 pounds. (Or maybe 4 after the eat-fest we had this weekend at home. Seriously? We were coming home last night from visiting family in PA and right before we got off of 495 I began having THE WORST pain in my stomach. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was dying. I screamed a lot. Turns out? Just gas.)

So today, Zach was all "Let's go to the gym at my work" and I was all "Yeah, good idea. CONSIDERING I'M SIGNED UP TO RUN MY FIRST 5K EVER ON SATURDAY."

Turns out? I can't run three miles anymore. I went three miles all together, but I walked for about a half mile spread out. And I was ready to die when it was over.

You know what makes it worse? Zach's gym is in the basement of an air conditioned building. You know what isn't air conditioned? THE NATIONAL MALL. It's supposed to be like 90 degrees on Saturday.

I'm kinda concerned. I could walk instead (there is the option) but someone I work with donated $250.00 to me. And I kind of feel like I need to run.

Another reason I think I need to run it is because we are having people over on Saturday from Zach's work for a BBQ. And I need to get home in time to make deviled eggs, pasta salad, and brownies.

If I don't die first, of course.

I'm thinking it might be time for me to re-sign-up at the gym. Like yesterday.

In Honor of our One-Year Anniversary of Living Somewhere longer than 12 months...

2011-05-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

So next weekend is our one-year anniversary of living in our house.

If you remember (and trust me. I do.), we worked on this house for a whole month straight before moving in. We repainted pretty much everything (even those yellow (and blue) ceilings). We re-did the kitchen cabinets. We got ceramic tile in the kitchen. We ripped up all of the carpet. My father-in-law put new flooring down in two of the three floors. My husband stained and laid down new wooden steps. We got new carpet upstairs. We were exhausted.

So it's been almost a year (right down to the day). Since then, I've repainted the entry way and we refinished a coffee table and that was pretty much it until last weekend when I re-did the two upstairs bathroom vanities and repainted the bathroom.

Well this weekend, the Milton's came to town and we went to work. Well actually, only the boy Milton's did renovation-type work on Saturday. Momma Milton followed the boy Milton's around and cleaned up after them and I had an afternoon Girl Scout activity.

Convenient, huh?

Just kidding. I would rather have been here because at least no one cries here. And at least everyone here doesn't have to go to the bathroom. All. Day. Long. But I guess I wouldn't care if they did because at least I wouldn't have to take them.

So anyway, the goals for this weekend seemed simple. Simple in my head, where everything is simple and nothing takes more than 10 minutes. Here were the (my?) goals for the weekend:

Put up new ceiling fan (and attach it to a switch) in the guest bedroom.
Put up new ceiling fan (and attach it to a switch) in the master bedroom.
Move old ceiling fan from master bedroom to computer room (and attach it to a switch).
Tile and grout the area around the fireplace.
Stain new shelves made for me by my father-in-law and hang them in the dining room.
Fix the closet door that hasn't shut properly since we moved in.
Install new toilet seat in master bathroom.
Install new toilet paper holder in master bathroom.
Change out all of the outlets and switches to be white instead of beige.

Can we focus on #5 for a minute? (Which was completed, by the way.)

My father-in-law built me two shelves. Not just any two shelves. Two shelves to match the one big one I inherited from my Guppy. Two shelves to hold up all of the cool old bottles I inherited from my mom. And Zach's family too. Look how cool they are:
These two small ones are the ones Zach's dad made for me that match this big one that belonged to my grandma Guppy:
I put them all in my dining room and filled them with bottles my mom gave me that were in her garage. Some of them were found in the ground by my dad. I don't really know where the others came from but then Zach's mom and dad, upon discovery of my inheritance, gave me more bottles.

I can sense that you are underwhelmed by my old empty bottle collection, but can I just say that the second one from the left is an old beer bottle from the Finleyville Brewing Company? Hell yes!

So anyway, I inherited three shelves and a bunch of old bottles that are freaking awesome (no matter what you say). I couldn't be happier with my old bottle collection. And my three (matching!) shelves.
Also, I have about 50 more bottles than this that I house elsewhere in my house. You can call me the Bottle-Lady.

Okay so then when I went to the Girl Scout Camping thing, Zach and his dad hooked up the ceiling fan to the switch in the guest bedroom so now our guests won't sweat as much anymore.

Then, my father-in-law tiled and grouted the area around the fireplace. And my husband put up my toilet paper holder.

And the day was over. And if you are keeping track, that was 4 out of 9 on the list.

Sunday Zach and I were on our own. And I am going to leave out all of the cussing and frustrations and holes in the walls and sweaty armpits and just tell you that it took 5 hours, but we (mostly Zach) got that effing new ceiling fan up in the master bedroom. And it turns on with the switch. It is glorious.

Also, before the in-laws left, Steve showed me how to change out the switches and outlets and I did two of those before I got bored and decided I would do one a day until they were done.

After 5 hours of fan installation, Zach put my new toilet seat on. It is also glorious. But I won't go there.

So that leaves us with a few items on the to-do list. But I don't really feel like talking about it anymore. So see ya later.

I did this all by myself. Except Lindsay helped. And I saved some work for Zach when he gets home.

2011-05-15T14:43:00.001-07:00

Let me just preface this by saying that we still want to redo our bathroom. Let me also preface this by saying we aren't willing to spend $15,000 to do so. Call us cheap. I don't really care.

What I've done here is not quite done. But, I can't take it any longer without some positive feedback so without further ado... What I did this weekend.

I turned this:
Into this:And I love it very much. So if you don't have anything nice to say about it, I suggest you don't. Because let's be honest. I only care if you like it.

Also, last weekend after Zach left for Yuma, I painted our tiny bathroom. It used to be dark blue with the same ugly white vanity as seen above. I have no photos of it, but now the whole space looks something like this:I'm not sure about the wall color so I brought in a few alternatives that you can see there under the mirror. I'm standing in the shower to take the photo, so you can tell just how small this space is. The shower curtain is dark brown.

Oh, and I realize that our plugs don't actually match the plates. It seems to be a pattern throughout the whole house, actually. Someday we would like to change to all white.

But not today!

Like I said, I'm still not sold on the bathroom. It needs something more.

But the outside vanity I am sold on. I lurve it.

Also, when Zach gets home here is his to-do list:
1. Fix the doors in the above photo to be even. Lindsay and I slaved over this for hours and when they weren't quite right, she suggested having Zach do it. After all, I did everything else. It didn't take me long to agree. Then pass out.
2. Figure out how we are going to put up the new toilet paper holder. After we almost drilled through a pipe, we quit.
3. Decide whether or not we actually like the bathroom color. If not, repaint.

Ha! Actually, he would never do that. I will be the one who repaints. But I'm not doing that other shit.

My New Thing.

2011-05-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

Last night I got a little bored.

So we went to Home Goods and bought this:Our intention for going was to buy some kind of storage thing for some Girl Scout stuff. So this doesn't really fit the bill. Also? It cost $600. I never spend that kind of money on anything. Except student loan payments.

But. This... Thing. I love it so much I could cry. I got the proverbial chub when I saw it. I didn't care what we did with it, I just had to have it.

So what if it wouldn't work for storage? I could... uhh... Put it in the hallway at the top of the stairs? "Not enough room for walking comfortably," Zach said. Uhh.. Use it as a TV stand? "Too high," Zach explained.

But then it came to me, after 20 minutes of staring at it. I'm moving our steamer trunk from the living room to the basement for storage of Girl Scout things. And my new... thing... is going to sit in the living room where the steamer trunk used to sit.

I can't wait until it gets delivered!

Also, our coffee table got stained today! It will be ready for moving into the living room in 3 days. Around the same time my new... thing... shows up.

The Night I Met Jen Lancaster.

2011-05-03T18:17:00.000-07:00

So, book signings aren't easy.

It didn't really dawn on me until after I met the Pioneer Woman last year that I probably should have thought that one out a little better.

But is it really better to think the entire time you are waiting about what you will say when you meet the famous person you've been waiting to meet and embarrass yourself anyway? Or jump in head first and embarrass yourself all willy nilly?

Tonight I went with a friend to meet Jen Lancaster and hear her talk about her new book If You Were Here. It was super fun and a lot less crowded than PW. I wasn't tempted to chew my arm off tonight. And I didn't fight traffic for 1.5 hours to get there. And I actually got to hear Jen speak, which is more than I can say for the time I went to see PW.

At any rate, back to my original thought. Book signings aren't easy. I imagine everyone involved feel this way. The whole idea of approaching someone with a book in hand that has your name Post-it-Noted on the inside cover so they know how to spell it is so... impersonal. But so efficient! So anyway, you walk up to this famous person whom you admire with their book (hard cover, no less!) you just purchased at a premium. You waited in line to get their autograph. So as you approach, what do you say?

I told you all that I blew it with PW. I wish I could say that this time I learned my lesson. But that's a lie.

Here are some of the things I thought about while in line that I could have said:

"I'm sorry I wore all black."

"I'm sorry there is an apple turnover stain on my pants."

"I really appreciate what you do."

"I have a really cute kitty named Shawn. My husband calls him Chawn. I call him Bubba."

"I extreme coupon."

"We all know what I'm here for. Just sign the damn book and we really won't need to make any small talk."

My friend's ideas:

"Why don't you respond to my Twitter posts?"

How do those sound to you? Good? TERRIBLE? FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS!?

What really went down between me and Jen Lancaster:

Jen - So where are you from?
Me - Originally? Pittsburgh! (I love giving my city a plug whenever I can!)
Jen - Yeah, but do you live around here?
Me - Oh, yeah.
Jen - Cool.
Me - .... My friend Kari is really excited to see you in Pittsburgh next week! She is tailgating!
Jen - That's awesome. (Maybe that should be an exclamation point? Not sure.) I fought really hard to get Pittsburgh.
Me - Yeah, I actually wanted to go with her but... Well I'm here. She is really jealous that we got you first.
Jen - Nice. Well, you can tell her I will be more polished in Pittsburgh.

CHEESE!
But I must say. At least I learned one lesson from the PW debacle. Stand a little closer. Look a little less constipated.

The other lesson? If you have nothing to say about yourself, talk about someone else. It (sort of) works.

"It's a great day for me. Now that they got the bastard."

2011-05-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

"You used to be able to see the world from the North Tower. Now, you can't see anything at all."

I remember these words spoken on September 11, 2001 on some news channel as I sat in Study Hall. I remember writing them down in my planner. I don't remember much in life, but I remember that. I remember where I was when I heard about the attacks. I walked into period 4/5 (Mr. McVicker's American History class) and the TV was on. Weird, I thought. I asked Rob Corbett what was going on. Mr. McVicker said, "Sit down and watch this. This is history."

I'm pretty sure I was the last person in America to find out what had happened. Others had known since 2nd Period.

I remember that I still had to take a Chemistry test that day and that I walked through Mingo Park with my best friend Elise that evening. I remember we were scared. I remember I filled up my gas tank because my dad told me to but I really didn't know why.

I remember moving to DC in 2007 for a job with the Government. I remember talking to my audit team who told me some horror stories of that day. Our office building is right across the street from the Pentagon. My team was in Las Vegas that day so they didn't experience what others in my building and the building across the street had.

So many lives were lost. So many sisters and brothers and mothers and fathers and sons and daughters and friends. So many patriots. So many Americans. I didn't personally know anyone who was affected, but their stories resonated with me when I tried to put on their shoes.

And tonight, I am sitting here watching the news. Osama bin Laden is dead. His compound was attacked by U.S. Navy SEALs. He refused to surrender. Now, his body is in the ocean somewhere.

This isn't over. But Osama's voice has been silenced forever.

I just turned on the news and this guy who has been working at Ground Zero said:

"It's a great day for me. Now that they got the bastard."

Yep. That just about sums it up.

God bless America. God bless our troops. God bless our president.

I bought all of this stuff for $18.00.

2011-05-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

You may just want to skip this post. It is completely and utterly boring to most. Not me, though. And this is my blog. So there.

I know you all probably don't care. I mean, I understand that coupons don't interest everyone. And also? Deals don't interest everyone. Including Zach, who doesn't understand that when I ask him to pick up a deal on salad dressing on his way home from work why him adding a 20 oz Mountain Dew to the check-out belt really just sucks the joy right out of everything.

But I know. He's doing it for me so I'm lucky.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Harris Teeter stag because Nesquik and beef jerky simply weren't on my list. I needed to maximize deals. They are doubling coupons up to $1.98, by the way! Here's what I got:

$2.00 and under:

Era Laundry Detergent
2 Old Spice Deodorants
2 Secret Deodorants
2 Irish Spring Deodorants
Salsa

$1.00 and under:

Zest soap
2 Palmolives

Less than $.50:

4 Lysol Wipes (actually these were like $.10 each).
Colgate toothpaste
2 Bounty Paper Towel Rolls

Free, or I got paid to take them:

Ivory Soap
2 Liter of Pepsi
Tostitos

BAM! I officially have a problem.

Shawn.

2011-04-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

We are slowly learning that our cat is a little strange.

First of all, he sits like this.Secondly, he likes to rub his butt on Zach.

And he has no neck at all.

But I'm beginning to think it might be my husband who is the weird one. I caught him singing tonight to Shawn. However the song he was singing was a real parody of a Lady Gaga song. The lyrics to the parody go like this, "Blood and guts and boobs and butts and I just want to make your head explode." But instead of using those words, Zach made up his own. They go like this:

"Chawn chawn chawn ch-ch-chawn chawn chawn ch-ch-chawn chawn chawn chawn chawn chawn chawn."

Because, as Zach explains, that's what he "likes to call him."

Chawn. Instead of Shawn. Who's the strange one now?

And I just repeated those words back to him and he acted like I was the strange one. He said, "That's right, but you have to SING it."

Okay, Crazy.

Newport News on a Saturday.

2011-04-26T03:46:00.000-07:00

This Easter, Zach and I traveled South instead of North for once to visit Zach's aunt. She lives in Newport News. I love visiting Aunt Vicki because she is the best bargain shopper in the world. And she treats us like we are her Grandchildren and feeds us like nobody's business. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Aunt Vicki is freaking awesome.

So when we visit Vicki, our trips go like this:

Arrive Saturday in the early afternoon.
Empty bladders.
Immediately get into Vicki's car.
Eat out.
Laugh a lot. Vicki is pretty funny.
Shop, shop, and shop some more.
Come home, drink coffee.
Vicki showcases her purchases from earlier shopping trips that are still in her closet in bags on the floor. Did I mention that Vicki loves to shop?
Eat.
Sit on the daybed and watch HGTV and talk about food, the goings-on in the world, TV, coupons, family, and memories from past trips (like the time at Old Navy when the check-out lady was fighting with me about flipflops, or the time Zach farted so loud he shook the whole house - sorry babe!, or the time Zach's mom was with us and I got pulled over driving her car for speeding...) until you can't keep your eyes open anymore.
Sleep.
Wake up, repeat 8 and 9.
Meander on home to Northern VA.

The only time this schedule changes is if 1.) It's the dead of Summer (in which case we just float in the pool and drink margaritas all day) or 2.) If we stay longer than one night. Then it's really still the same stuff only more of it.

And we love it.

So basically that was our Saturday! I didn't buy as much stuff as I normally would have, but it's quite a diverse group of things:

3 pound weights (Did I mention I quit the gym?)
A tank top from Target
$.49 bathroom cleaner (Extreme couponing, what what!)
Zach and I both got flip flops

And Vicki bought these smoothie mixes from Walmart (they have a Walmart Supercenter in Newport News. I'm quite jealous.) that were AWESOME! I forget what they were even called but it was really just some frozen, yogurt covered fruit in a bag that you blended with low-fat milk for a yummy treat.

Dinner was awesome too (and so was the chocolate!) but more on that later...

I talked in my sleep last night. About coupons.

2011-04-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Zach told me this story.

He said that last night, he came into the bedroom where I was sleeping and I sat straight up in bed. Then, I began speaking in tongues. Then I said, "Beeba. I have two coupons for $.50. And one for $.75. But that's just too much."

Then he told me that I was sleeping. And I told him I wasn't. And that I knew what I was talking about. Then he tried to record me on his iPhone, but I told him that the screen hurt my eyes and that he needed to turn it off. So he did.

Therefore, I don't believe him.